Growing up, my dad didn’t have a lot of things.
He was raised in an orphanage, beaten by nuns, and abandoned by his father.

One thing he did have was two sisters, dad being the oldest, and a strong desire for the family that he never had.

One sister, my favorite aunt, died some 35 years ago of breast cancer.  My uncle, a military man, brought her body back from Germany for the funeral.  I barely remember the gathering.   A lot of faces are blurred.  A lot of names I’ll never remember.   I was so young that I didn’t cry as I perceived my aunt’s death to be an achievement of a well-lived life.
—  My dad didn’t cry for his little sister.  He had a strange look on his face, but he didn’t shed a tear.  I asked him why and received the typical “Men don’t cry” answer.  Even at 10, I was wise enough not to pursue the matter further.  I let it drop.

Today, his other sister is to have a memorial service.  She was cremated because her son lacks the funds for a proper funeral and my aunt’s life insurance wasn’t enough for a proper funeral.    It is what it is.

With her death, that family branch withers.
The little sister didn’t have children, as far as I’m aware.   The aunt who died today had two sons, one of which is dead, and another who is disabled and pushing 50+.

Dad’s branch sprouted to yield my brother, sister, and I.  I officially can’t have a child.   My brother and sister have no interest in starting a family and haven’t dated anyone in probably a decade.  While I hope they find someone, I’m not going to hold my breath.   Despite the lack of a significant other, they seem to be very content and happy.  I wouldn’t want to disturb that for anything, not even for a niece or a nephew.

Although it’s a little premature, I think this is it.
The grandchildren and great-grandchildren my dad wanted to have will never be.  The family and the last name will end here.  I discussed this with my mom a while ago, and even she is content not having a grandchild.  No pressure there.

It just feels odd knowing that there isn’t going to be a piece of me, my siblings, or even my family will be projected in the future.   From here on in, we can be as selfish as we desire and die leaving a legacy of bankruptcy and credit card debt.  –  Not that I’ll do that, but it could be fun for a while.  It could be a “burn them while you got them” sort of deal.

When my one cousin dies, it’ll just be my little branch sprout, and then – poof.    There’d be no one to search for us on Ancestory.com – ever.  So much for that claim to fame.  =)

Yeah, just weird.
Oh well.