I guess I’m melancholy today.

The day itself isn’t bad.   I got to hang out with baby brother, had pizza, and a couple of breadsticks.     Class hasn’t begun as of yet.    This is like a super relaxing time.

It’s a little difficult to get motivated when it’s 90 plus outside.  =)
I told myself that I was going to do something this afternoon, but I’d probably be out when Jason calls, so I’ll stay here.

Shower soon.

I guess part of my feelings stems from the holiday.
Although I can’t confirm it, the Fourth seemed to be dad’s favorite holiday.

We’d go to Kentucky to buy fireworks that couldn’t be purchased legally in Indiana.  The families down the street would get fireworks from Mexico that (probably) wasn’t legal in the United States.     Then, we’d have this bigger firework (dick) contest with them.

The thing was that everyone was a winner.    It was the closest thing to a block party this dead end street ever had.

What was really neat was when the farmers to the south started lighting up.     Everything was just awesome all the way around, even if it did rain every year.

All of that went by the wayside the year I started lighting them.    See, dad wanted baby brother to take over the honored mantle as the lighter of fireworks, but he was too apprehensive.

So, I butted in and started to do it one year.    After that… he really lost interest.

To carry on the tradition, I’d buy some legal fireworks from the store — which totally pales to what I was used to.    I think the first year I did it, I spent a couple hundred dollars on what was essentially bottlecaps.

After that, didn’t feel like literally burning my money.    And that was that.

I think I tried to revive the tradition when I first moved to Florida — but again, burning money.   And it just didn’t have the same grandiose feel of when I was little.

So, now, eh.

Watching fireworks on television is impersonal and, possibly, CG.  Gathering to watch a show is okay.    It’s better, providing it isn’t too crowded and advertisements aren’t blasting everywhere.

I think the only time I got close to feeling like a firework child again was one year when Jason and I were in Disney World.    It was, I think, in the middle of January.  It was freezing for a Florida winter and they had a firework show.

It was so overwhelming and beautiful.    I guess I got caught up in the Disney fan flow or something.   Regardless — awesome.     I haven’t felt that type of wonder since then.

Of course, there are the usual downers that I shoulder.  No child to share the holiday with.  Although, I think I’m slowly starting to let that regret go.   — slowly.   The world has been messed up for a while.   The past seven months have been a spike in the messed-up-ed-ness.

Any child of mine would probably feel the way I did when I was a child — born in the wrong time era.  Separate.    Not of this society.

Hum….

It also sucks that Indianapolis is going to demand mandatory masks next week.  I can’t help but wonder if Greenwood, Avon, and the surrounding areas are going to follow suit.  If so, how soon until that policy migrates south to me?

Like so many places, we where supposed to go into stage five this weekend too.    Seemed like great timing with Independence Day and all — but that’s been scaled back to stage 4.5.

4.5?

Kills me when things are done so half-assed.  That and the goalposts just keep moving as they’ve done all year.

I guess the bright thing I feel today is that Jason will (possibly) be up here in a couple of weeks.    — providing COVID doesn’t delay his trip.   Florida is a hot spot for it right now.   I know that Florida is having a pissing contest with New York, but I don’t know if it would expand to air travel to other states.

Anyways… I don’t know.
Maybe it’s best not knowing.     Now, if I could just stop asking questions.