eating disorder
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I really have no other way to start this… Yes, I really did clean my room, sorta. I visit the shrink on a weekly basis now. During our last visitation, she stated quite plainly, several times, that I know how to take care of others. I clean their rooms. I vacuum. I mop. To take… Read more
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My life in song: — The lyrical version… — When mom and dad worked all the time my theme song was “Bad to the Bone” followed closely by “Free Bird.” Elementary/middle school – when I was being bulled and had no problems being mean right back my song was “Veteran of Psychic Wars” by Blue… Read more
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Mom and Bill went to Indy for a doctor appointment. Original thought: — Yay! I can sneak out to the gym from 7 to noon without worry of being caught or interrupted. Second thought that came to me while I was attempting to sleep: — Why do that to yourself? You’ve been to the gym… Read more
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Last week was kinda rough. Tuesday – Mrs. Meriam — I don’t think she’s effective, but it’s a reason to get out of the house — told me that I don’t know how to care for myself and place others before me. – Same old song, different day. I’ve been told that for over a… Read more
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I’ll freely admit that the last couple of weeks have been fairly rough. In short, the doctor doubled by prozac because I’m showing eating disorder and other types of behaviors. Jason, the boyfriend, is staying this month… so far, so good… but it’s still be very odd and a little difficult. I haven’t seen him… Read more
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Back to gluttony… binging… yep. I did on left over turkey. I didn’t eat it all, as there is a partial leg left, but everything else in the container mysteriously disappeared down my gullet during the evening and night- as well as a good portion of my favorite Apple Butter BBQ – don’t knock it… Read more
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I’m really not to sure how long it’s been since I was released from the House. Two months? Three? I guess it doesn’t matter – the whole situation seems surreal now. It feels like it was a vague dream that has uncomfortable real life reminders. I suppose its like dreaming of getting drunk and waking… Read more
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Gluttony is when you crave something so much that it’s unhealthy, unnatural and immoral. It’s when your brain says “that’s enough,” but you reach for the ice cream anyway, without hesitation, and without will. It’s when you verbally beat an opponent, feel sorry that they’re so pathetic, but still continue with the attack for no… Read more
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There’s certain songs that resonate with people, I think. Even if music is a foreign to the person… there’s always something. Some tune, some lyric, that resounds in the mind during times of trouble or distress. Maybe it’s like the way a cat purrs when it’s injured. The purring helps comfort the cat. Maybe the songs help comfort us. What type… Read more
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Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and Count Chocula, As a child, you three dazzled me away from the naughty Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. You did not need Lucky Charms to hold breakfast bowl dominion. Tony Tiger secretly thought of you when he screamed “They’re Great.” Oh – what a seasonal specialty – sweet strawberry goodness, beguiling blueberry, charming chocolate –… Read more
after thoughts 