after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

eating disorder

  • 4/26

    April is all but over and I can’t help but to reflect on how this year has progressed. January – I was cold, sick, and weak. February –This month was dominated by a week’s stay at Saint Francis and the brutal realization of my weakness. My mental and physical status was enough for a hospitalization.… Read more

  • 3/17

    Every day has to be a challenge. It’s tiring. Frustrating. And silly. — Today’s challenge is cantaloupe and honeydew. There was half of a large container that was going bad. It expired today and the melon chunks were becoming mushy. They’re kinda expensive and I like them. So, I added some no-salt salt, some low-fat… Read more

  • 3/12

    February was messed up. I think I was more in a hospital via St Francis and Methodist than out. If I don’t consider the month change, I had definitely been in a hospital than out over the past 30 days. I don’t think I ever had that situation, including the spinal fusion. Roughly a week… Read more

  • 2/21/2024

    Yesterday, I buzzed around the house fairly happily. While it sucked, I had convinced myself that I would be moved to the Charis Center by the weekend. It would be inpatient, awesome, and I could pull myself together more. After all, I didn’t start to feel better until I was confined to the hospital for… Read more

  • 2/18/2024

    Okay. Goals for tomorrow: – I got to see Kerri at Centerstone for a mid morning appointment. Oh boy, I got a lot to tell her. She won’t have a lot of time to talk about her daughter. Then, I think I’ll try to find a place for a full face wax. I caught my… Read more

  • 2/17/2024

    Well, I’m back home. I cleared St. Francas yesterday just in time for the snow dump. I think it caused over 300 wrecks and delays according to the server from TGIF. It was rather unexpected. Mom, Jason, and I went to TGIF as kind of a celebration for my release. It was pretty nice although… Read more

  • 2/16/2024

    I continue to be Jane in the hospital mists. The aide last night was a bit more enlightening. She didn’t like to get wet so, on top of waiting three plus hours for a shower, I had to figure out how to use the shower. Which is fine. I’m a big girl. It’s just difficult… Read more

  • 2/15 -pt 2

    All of the self-good will I had earlier today vanished and embarrassingly quick. One more night here at the hospital. Okay. I’m okay with that. The health insurance failing to pick up the bill sent me into spasms. I didn’t question it. I didn’t stop to think. I just went to a dark place very… Read more

  • 2/15/2024

    Another day in the life. Day three… potentially day three here in room T524. I don’t know if I’m leaving today or have another night but here I am on the other side of a rough night. Last night was far more difficult to fall asleep than before. I don’t know if it was just because I’m… Read more

  • 2/14/2024

    What a way to spend valentine’s day. I’m in St. Francian hospital, room T524. I guess it’s a nice enough room but I can’t see out the window, my back hurts, the bed is uncomfortable…. I’ve been unhooked from the IV drip and have been running to the bathroom myself… which sets off the sensor alarm on… Read more