freewriting
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Lately, I’ve been feeling that I need to do more with less. I’m starting to become wasteful and even wanton – although I’m not sure how that word applies. It’s like I’m fattening up and not holding myself accountable or to as strict self-regulation as I have previously. This bloated feeling affects just about everything Read more
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My current big brain thought is energy. According to the Conservation of Energy, energy can never be created or destroyed. Energy is all around us. It’s in us. It’s food. It’s muscle responses. If you’re religious, it’s the Divine Spark. Energy can be stored, transformed, and converted. But there’s just so much to go around. Read more
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Jason, bless him, mowed the yards on Friday. Despite it being muggy and the discomfort it caused, he mowed. Thank goodness. It had been over a week and I don’t think I had the brain compacity to handle it. I’m getting better. I think I am. But I would have had a miserable weekend. Even Read more
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The idea of living in a simulation has been around for a while. Popularized by the Matrix films and further embedded by people like Scott Addams, the exterminates of politics, and terms like being ‘red pilled,’ feeling like living in a simulation isn’t a foreign concept. But, I think that’s a little too complex. If Read more
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Jason is ill this weekend. I’m not sure what’s wrong outside of a sore throat. He won’t allow a doctor visit – which is understandable. Being the weekend, a doctor would probably be ER and there’s probably not a reason for that level of care. Although hauling him into Kroger or CVS for a quick Read more
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Kind of stick with me on this. As I mentioned in the previous post, this week has been against my usual routine of doctors and therapists. I had developed a fairly set routine with going out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and sometimes Tuesdays with Thursdays being ‘clean the house day.’ This week, I had Tuesday and Read more
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I think what annoyed me about Liz Wheeler the other day was a combination of a number of things. My foot, recovering from arthritis and having two pens in two toes, hurt horribly. The weather, while trending in the warmer direction, is becoming damp and that’s causing distraction and a type of achiness. Liz’s tone Read more
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I just did something potentially crazy…. There was a Fat Con in Seattle early February. Out of morbid curiosity, I skimmed it, particularly the ticket prices and what was included. $1200 for VIP + Plus $600 for VIPAnd a couple of hundred for two days and about a hundred for a single day. It’s been Read more
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um….. My foot hurts. It hurts a lot. Me, someone who has lived with some sort of physical pain for the past forty or so years, have learned to ignore it, departmentalize pain, and accept it. It’s more of a constant companion than a bother. It reminds me that I’m alive, providing I acknowledge its Read more
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Now that Christmas as steamed rolled by, everything will start to become ‘normal.’ I’m not looking forward to normal. Normal often leads me to dark spaces in my mind, anxiety, becoming upset, desperate, and a very unhappy me. I I fear that I will become unstable. Not that I’m stable now… but just having people Read more
after thoughts 