after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

relationships

  • 1/14

    Jason isn’t back from his Tampa class yet, so I thought I’d give this another go before I fall asleep. I’m listening to: While it says super intelligence and memory, I’m about ready to just pass out.  It’s gently sapping my energy. Recent impressions of the new year – Retail.    Since I’m in a… Read more

  • 1/10

    In a way, I feel like I’ve been self-harming a little bit. Not like mutilation or anything like that. It’s more along the lines of anorexia.    Eating too much.   Not eating enough. Drinking milk, although I know that sets off some very uncomfortable hot flashes.  I endure stress, negative thoughts, and self-doubt which often… Read more

  • 12/27

    To be honest, I haven’t felt like writing over the past couple of weeks. That’s not true.    I’ve felt like writing, but haven’t had the willpower or motivation to do anything. I think the reason is because of how I’m reacting to the situations and surroundings presented to me. Just to be clear, I… Read more

  • 12/12

    The middle of December is always an odd time. It’s not quite the heart of winter, but well within the last days of the calendar year. Up north, if we’re quiet, we can see struggling signs of life in the snow. Down south, there’s an almost unnatural stillness.  The trees are still green.   The sun… Read more

  • 12/6

    Sometimes I wonder if my Prozac dosage didn’t change since I’ve been here. Certainly, there’s quite a bit of difference between here and Indiana.  Both good and bad.   But, I guess in Florida I’m adulting more than in Indiana.     It’s easier to be wise and beneficial when I don’t feel that I have as… Read more

  • Brief observations of the Thanksgiving get-together.

    I like to observe people and I had plenty of time to do so while being ignored sitting on the couch. Although I was in the living room and the majority of the people were hiding in the kitchen, it was a perfect opportunity to discreetly listen. Impressions: –   A good chunk of the conversation… Read more

  • 11/30

    Survived Thanksgiving. The day was pretty rough mentally, but I think I survived it fairly well. I kept chanting ‘no whammies’ and I guess it worked for once. First, of course, there was the whole food thing. I don’t think anyone really appreciates the dread us anorexics go through outside of another anorexic.  Especially one… Read more

  • 11/20

    Yesterday was a lot harder than it had to be. When I left the house, I was feeling pretty good.   All of my homework was caught up.   I met the neighbor, which is odd cause I never meet the neighbors.   It was a gorgeous 80-degree day.  The road was beneath my feet.  I felt pretty… Read more

  • 11/18

    I feel really bad for the cat, Sneezles. There’s been this plumber, Julio, here since about 9:30. He’s doing his job with the drills and banging and whatever to replace some pipes in the wall.    That’s all well and good, but he’s been doing so for two and a half hours.    I imagine… Read more

  • 11/15

    I’m going a little crazy today. Because of the rain, I didn’t leave the property yesterday.   Today, the cold front is passing by.   There’s still a chance of rain, but I’m going to head out here in a little bit.  I just can’t help it. I need a project to work on. Writing, what I… Read more