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I feel that I survived Mother’s Day fairly unscathed. That holiday is a duel-edged dagger. When it comes to motherhood, I feel an intense guilt and lack of fulfillment as I can never be a biological mother. Cancer and, probably, anorexia stole that from me. But I also feel shame as I feel that I’m… Read more
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Just checking in, really. Trying to get back into the habit of blogging. Couple of news and notes. — Three more sessions at the Charis Center. I’m entering my eighth week which is the final week unless they recommend an additional three. If they do, I’m not 100% sure I’ll continue. There would probably be… Read more
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April is all but over and I can’t help but to reflect on how this year has progressed. January – I was cold, sick, and weak. February –This month was dominated by a week’s stay at Saint Francis and the brutal realization of my weakness. My mental and physical status was enough for a hospitalization.… Read more
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Every day has to be a challenge. It’s tiring. Frustrating. And silly. — Today’s challenge is cantaloupe and honeydew. There was half of a large container that was going bad. It expired today and the melon chunks were becoming mushy. They’re kinda expensive and I like them. So, I added some no-salt salt, some low-fat… Read more
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I need to calm down. I’m not sure why but I’m buzzing with energy. I feel tingly like there are ants just underneath my skin. They’re running up my nerves to my throat and making it tight. It was a good day. I drove the truck and it wasn’t difficult. I dumped the trash and… Read more
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February was messed up. I think I was more in a hospital via St Francis and Methodist than out. If I don’t consider the month change, I had definitely been in a hospital than out over the past 30 days. I don’t think I ever had that situation, including the spinal fusion. Roughly a week… Read more
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Yesterday, I buzzed around the house fairly happily. While it sucked, I had convinced myself that I would be moved to the Charis Center by the weekend. It would be inpatient, awesome, and I could pull myself together more. After all, I didn’t start to feel better until I was confined to the hospital for… Read more
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Well, I’m back home. I cleared St. Francas yesterday just in time for the snow dump. I think it caused over 300 wrecks and delays according to the server from TGIF. It was rather unexpected. Mom, Jason, and I went to TGIF as kind of a celebration for my release. It was pretty nice although… Read more
Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.
after thoughts 