after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

  • Family Ashes

    I can’t really say that I’ve been to a funeral quite like my aunt’s. There were multiple people I didn’t know, but that’s okay.    I generally don’t know anyone during family gatherings, but I really didn’t know anyone in this one.   It mostly comprised of my aunt’s co-workers and a few people from her deceased… Read more

  • Withering of a branch

    Growing up, my dad didn’t have a lot of things. He was raised in an orphanage, beaten by nuns, and abandoned by his father. One thing he did have was two sisters, dad being the oldest, and a strong desire for the family that he never had. One sister, my favorite aunt, died some 35… Read more

  • Selfish prayer

    I stay in correspondence with one of my House sisters from last year.  She was with partially with me during my three month intensive stay and I like to think that we’ve grown closer after our ordeal than what we were during.   This woman is probably one of the most nice and devout Christians that… Read more

  • Binging

    Monday was the operation. I was kicked out of the hospital on Tuesday. Two weeks until I know if I’m 100% cancer free. —  I have a pretty good feeling about it.  I think I am. I’m just kind of owie right now.  The scar hurts.  The puncture wounds from the operation are tender and… Read more

  • Florida and me

    I was uprooted from Florida because of well, because of reasons.   Apparently, there were a lot of reasons that I didn’t acknowledge or ever care about.  I can’t claim that I was the master of my domain, no matter how I tried, because I was falling into mental and physical decay.  It was frustrating.  I… Read more

  • This day is a bit of a bust.

    I had planned in my little head that I was going to the gym around 7am.  Hang out until 11ish.   Get something to eat and then catch Murder on the Orient Express.  The truck keys and Propel where right next to the door so I wouldn’t forget.   The movie started at 1:50. I consider this… Read more

  • 503:: NeoGaf | Believe |

    NeoGaf was… is a gaming forum. Yeah, so what, right? Well, this one was (is) kind of like the granddaddy of all gaming forums.  It was pre-Reddit.  Pre Twitter.   Pre-just about everything.  NeoGaf was  place for people ‘in the know’ to seek harbor when there was no where else to go.   It was a place… Read more

  • This time of year.

    I don’t like this time of year. It’s the uneasy space between fall and winter. The first frost has come and gone.   Some trees are barren while others linger.   One bush has two yellow roses despite her sisters’ surrender. Everything is dead and dying.  A season’s worth of growing effort is under our feet and we trample… Read more

  • A wyrd time of year

    When I was in Florida, I missed this season the most — well, second most. Green leaves turn to red, brown, and yellow.   The limbs are barren.   Corn, once nurtured to be tall and strong, is swept away, much like death taking our own – stalk by stalk.  Life by life. During this time of… Read more

  • An old vision

    When I started to become serious with Jason, I used to have these visions/dreams.  They were like dreams, but I actually remembered them and hoped that they were some sort of premonitions of the future. The last one was several years ago, but I still remember.  I was older, actually probably about the age I… Read more