anorexic
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Jason is in Indy until Thursday evening. The state is having its annual get together where they all get drunk… I guess. They network and go to random seminars and whatnot on the tax payer dime. I think it’s good. It’s good for him to get out, although I wish he would have remembered to Read more
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I have so many thoughts going through my head that I’m crazy. But this is a different type of crazy from the usual crazy. I guess it’s a more controlled crazy. It’s a more realized and manageable one since…. finally… I got my brain tumor and some answers. I don’t remember if I wrote in Read more
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A couple of days ago, I felt almost broken. Not fully broken mentally or physically. Just severely cracked. I think I was feeling kind of peaceful. Kind of accepting. There wasn’t a reason to struggle or fret. I certainly wasn’t in the ‘everything will be okay’ camp but was just tired. It takes a lot Read more
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Today…. today, I’m trying not to be as stressed out as I’ve been all week. I’m trying to keep the insanity, panic, and anxiety to a minimum. I’m trying not to feel guilty, unloved, or upset. Rationally, I know there isn’t a need for any of those emotion. They don’t apply. There’s a lot of Read more
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I don’t want to talk to people from the Charis Center any more. They upset me. They tell me I’m going to die painfully… slowly… although they don’t know what I look like. They just try to cookie cutter me into meal plans without taking into account sensibilities or my personal ideas and options. They’re Read more
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Because I’m an obsessive thinker, I have some additional thoughts about food as a continuation from yesterday’s post. Food, as it is today, isn’t really food. It’s filler. It’s big words made from oils and substances left over from other processes. Food is made from mistakes. It’s not natural. Instead, we have pink slime instead Read more
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I was supposed to have an online appointment with Heather, the Charis Center Neutralist, this morning. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do the BS dance with her as I’m not following the f*ucking pink meal plan. I have no intention of following said meal plan and just didn’t feel like trying to pretend Read more
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It’s another day of feeling overwhelmed. I’m on high alert for… something. I don’t know what. But something. It’s not really depression, I think. I’m not sad but so full of energy. I don’t fear that something bad is going to happen. Somehow, I * know * that it will. When, to who, and what Read more
after thoughts 