after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

freewriting

  • 8/17

    I don’t want to talk to people from the Charis Center any more. They upset me. They tell me I’m going to die painfully… slowly… although they don’t know what I look like. They just try to cookie cutter me into meal plans without taking into account sensibilities or my personal ideas and options. They’re Read more

  • 8/14

    It’s another day of feeling overwhelmed. I’m on high alert for… something. I don’t know what. But something. It’s not really depression, I think. I’m not sad but so full of energy. I don’t fear that something bad is going to happen. Somehow, I * know * that it will. When, to who, and what Read more

  • 7/31

    It’s been tough. Actually, it’s been scary tough – especially over the past couple of days. Yesterday, I went to the doctor with my sister for her appointment. While she didn’t allow me to go back there, I got the gist of it and am highly concerned about what I was told. Not only the Read more

  • 7/11

    Much like Tuesday, this day started dark. I’ve slept too much. Over the past day, I’ve eaten too much. I haven’t done enough. I’ve wasted too much time on things that don’t matter and not enough on things that do. But, I’m trying. Despite the overeating… or perceived over eating… yesterday was pretty good. I Read more

  • 7/9

    I need to get out of my head. Today is kind of unusual. I don’t have a house to clean or any appointments. I keep hitting refresh on my classes and nothing has come in. I should take this time to work on my book, color, read…. do something. I’ve stumbled onto a golden day Read more

  • 6/20

    Yesterday…. Yesterday should have been awesome. I was out with two of my best friends – my mom and little sister. We were all getting facials and my mom a massage from a pricy place downtown. – Jason won a voucher from a wellness fair and that paid for mom’s services. The little sister was Read more

  • 5/26

    Jason has finished Final Fantasy Rebirth… or Remake. Whatever the second one is. He didn’t max out everything but spent over 100 hours of playtime on it. He or whoever bought the game for him certainly got their money’s worth. Jason has moved on to Hades 2. While it’s not officially released, the game was Read more

  • 3/12/2024 pt 2

    I need to calm down. I’m not sure why but I’m buzzing with energy. I feel tingly like there are ants just underneath my skin. They’re running up my nerves to my throat and making it tight. It was a good day. I drove the truck and it wasn’t difficult. I dumped the trash and Read more

  • 3/12

    February was messed up. I think I was more in a hospital via St Francis and Methodist than out. If I don’t consider the month change, I had definitely been in a hospital than out over the past 30 days. I don’t think I ever had that situation, including the spinal fusion. Roughly a week Read more

  • Freewriting – 2/22

    She checked her watch. It was an older piece, something not made anymore, but still functional. It remained correct twice a day. The streets were empty.   The air was bare. She felt slightly disrespectful by moving as it caused little unseen winds around her. She had caused an expenditure of energy that was not needed.  Read more