freewriting
-
I have so many thoughts going through my head that I’m crazy. But this is a different type of crazy from the usual crazy. I guess it’s a more controlled crazy. It’s a more realized and manageable one since…. finally… I got my brain tumor and some answers. I don’t remember if I wrote in… Read more
-
A couple of days ago, I felt almost broken. Not fully broken mentally or physically. Just severely cracked. I think I was feeling kind of peaceful. Kind of accepting. There wasn’t a reason to struggle or fret. I certainly wasn’t in the ‘everything will be okay’ camp but was just tired. It takes a lot… Read more
-
Today…. today, I’m trying not to be as stressed out as I’ve been all week. I’m trying to keep the insanity, panic, and anxiety to a minimum. I’m trying not to feel guilty, unloved, or upset. Rationally, I know there isn’t a need for any of those emotion. They don’t apply. There’s a lot of… Read more
-
I don’t want to talk to people from the Charis Center any more. They upset me. They tell me I’m going to die painfully… slowly… although they don’t know what I look like. They just try to cookie cutter me into meal plans without taking into account sensibilities or my personal ideas and options. They’re… Read more
-
It’s another day of feeling overwhelmed. I’m on high alert for… something. I don’t know what. But something. It’s not really depression, I think. I’m not sad but so full of energy. I don’t fear that something bad is going to happen. Somehow, I * know * that it will. When, to who, and what… Read more
-
It’s been tough. Actually, it’s been scary tough – especially over the past couple of days. Yesterday, I went to the doctor with my sister for her appointment. While she didn’t allow me to go back there, I got the gist of it and am highly concerned about what I was told. Not only the… Read more
-
Much like Tuesday, this day started dark. I’ve slept too much. Over the past day, I’ve eaten too much. I haven’t done enough. I’ve wasted too much time on things that don’t matter and not enough on things that do. But, I’m trying. Despite the overeating… or perceived over eating… yesterday was pretty good. I… Read more
-
Yesterday…. Yesterday should have been awesome. I was out with two of my best friends – my mom and little sister. We were all getting facials and my mom a massage from a pricy place downtown. – Jason won a voucher from a wellness fair and that paid for mom’s services. The little sister was… Read more
after thoughts 