after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

health

  • 10/29

    I’m apprehensive about the SNAP thing. It doesn’t affect me. I’m not on SNAP, but given my history, I know food access shouldn’t be denied. It can be limited, difficult, have self-imposed boundaries, or medical restrictions. But denied? No more food stamps? It’s not just that. Americans have little to no, generally speaking, financial comprehension.… Read more

  • 9/3

    I’m between classes right now. Despite not having a paycheck coming in, I’m feeling rather relieved. The last couple of weeks of the semester were a bit of a wreck for me. I was fairly paranoid since it was such a large class – about thirty students. That’s about eight to ten more students than… Read more

  • 8/28

    Do you remember Gauntlet? It was a four-person game back in the mid 80s and 90s. Plug a quarter in and you could play as a quick but weak elf, mid-skilled Valkyrie, slow warrior or even slower wizard. I’d hope and pray for reflective shot and, I think, at one point there was a way… Read more

  • 7/31

    I’ve been trying really hard to be good. The euphoria from earlier this week has all btu evaporated. It dipped severely on Tuesday. Came back and evened out a bit on Wednesday with the little sister. Today, I’m fighting to stay in even. I don’t want to be depressed but not so high that I’ll… Read more

  • 7/28

    Today is kind of strange. I’ve eaten a lot. Specifically, I’ve eaten a lot of proteinGreek yogurt. An entire tub of cottage cheese. Egg white wraps. High protein Ensure. I have a grilled chicken salad and an additional chicken breast on deck for dinner in addition to a potential Fairlife should Jason want it. So,,,… Read more

  • 7/27

    Here we go again. Another Sunday. Another day of just barely keeping a cap on the crazy. The crazy being the anxiety. The depression. The screaming. The wild emotions that linger just under the surface of my skin and behind my eyes. It could be worse. I could be playing the panic flute about the… Read more

  • Baby Suppression

    It has occurred to be that the lower to nil birth rate is intentional. A lot of it can be traced back to the World Economic Forum and social trends. It’s intentional reproductive suppression. Just spit balling here: * Sterilization and birth defects through vaccinations. * With the rise of the gig economy, maternity leave… Read more

  • 7/21

    Today… today is kind of a strange day. Typically, little sister and I would be out and about. If this was June, Jason would be here and the day would just happen. But, Jason and little sister had to work. I don’t have any appointments and had the day to myself. So, I slept in… Read more

  • 6/28

    Lately, I’ve been feeling that I need to do more with less. I’m starting to become wasteful and even wanton – although I’m not sure how that word applies. It’s like I’m fattening up and not holding myself accountable or to as strict self-regulation as I have previously. This bloated feeling affects just about everything… Read more

  • 6/19

    This is seriously shameful, but I’m trying not to freak. I’m upset that the grass is getting high and it’s been an obsession all day. I’ve checked, double checked, triple checked the forecast. It’s promised rain. I’ve prayed for rain. For a storm. For a sprinkle. But, nothing. I didn’t have a whole lot of… Read more