after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

health

  • 12/4

    I joined the tube club. The wound care set me up with a doctor in a nearby hospital. I was in and out within an hour. There were some stark differences. The doctor from the local hospital was male. I was the last appointment of the day. Just kind of inserted in for a quick… Read more

  • 12/3

    The first of December was a day of firsts. It was my first encounter with HBO therapy. No, HBO therapy isn’t sitting around watching The Sopranos and Mad Men. Rather, it’s being placed into a tube that’s filled with complete and pure oxygen. It’s commonly used for burn victims, gangrene and to promote the body’s… Read more

  • I… I haven’t been well lately. A lot of this I think I’m placing on myself. I’m anxious about work. About my health. About relationships. About the holidays. Thanksgiving is less than a week away and I’m stressing. I’m quite happy with my current consumption of food. The pressure of mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing… I… Read more

  • 11/13

    Today…. today is an odd day. Actually, it’s been an odd week. Month. Right now, Cammeron from Comfort Heating, Plumbing, and Air is here for a PM check. Although the plumbing is just three years old, we had a lot of problems at the start. The special of $40 seems more than fair. I’m also… Read more

  • 10/29

    I’m apprehensive about the SNAP thing. It doesn’t affect me. I’m not on SNAP, but given my history, I know food access shouldn’t be denied. It can be limited, difficult, have self-imposed boundaries, or medical restrictions. But denied? No more food stamps? It’s not just that. Americans have little to no, generally speaking, financial comprehension.… Read more

  • 9/3

    I’m between classes right now. Despite not having a paycheck coming in, I’m feeling rather relieved. The last couple of weeks of the semester were a bit of a wreck for me. I was fairly paranoid since it was such a large class – about thirty students. That’s about eight to ten more students than… Read more

  • 8/28

    Do you remember Gauntlet? It was a four-person game back in the mid 80s and 90s. Plug a quarter in and you could play as a quick but weak elf, mid-skilled Valkyrie, slow warrior or even slower wizard. I’d hope and pray for reflective shot and, I think, at one point there was a way… Read more

  • 7/31

    I’ve been trying really hard to be good. The euphoria from earlier this week has all btu evaporated. It dipped severely on Tuesday. Came back and evened out a bit on Wednesday with the little sister. Today, I’m fighting to stay in even. I don’t want to be depressed but not so high that I’ll… Read more

  • 7/28

    Today is kind of strange. I’ve eaten a lot. Specifically, I’ve eaten a lot of proteinGreek yogurt. An entire tub of cottage cheese. Egg white wraps. High protein Ensure. I have a grilled chicken salad and an additional chicken breast on deck for dinner in addition to a potential Fairlife should Jason want it. So,,,… Read more

  • 7/27

    Here we go again. Another Sunday. Another day of just barely keeping a cap on the crazy. The crazy being the anxiety. The depression. The screaming. The wild emotions that linger just under the surface of my skin and behind my eyes. It could be worse. I could be playing the panic flute about the… Read more