after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

mental-health

  • 7/31

    I’ve been trying really hard to be good. The euphoria from earlier this week has all btu evaporated. It dipped severely on Tuesday. Came back and evened out a bit on Wednesday with the little sister. Today, I’m fighting to stay in even. I don’t want to be depressed but not so high that I’ll… Read more

  • 7/28

    Today is kind of strange. I’ve eaten a lot. Specifically, I’ve eaten a lot of proteinGreek yogurt. An entire tub of cottage cheese. Egg white wraps. High protein Ensure. I have a grilled chicken salad and an additional chicken breast on deck for dinner in addition to a potential Fairlife should Jason want it. So,,,… Read more

  • Baby Suppression

    It has occurred to be that the lower to nil birth rate is intentional. A lot of it can be traced back to the World Economic Forum and social trends. It’s intentional reproductive suppression. Just spit balling here: * Sterilization and birth defects through vaccinations. * With the rise of the gig economy, maternity leave… Read more

  • 7/21

    Today… today is kind of a strange day. Typically, little sister and I would be out and about. If this was June, Jason would be here and the day would just happen. But, Jason and little sister had to work. I don’t have any appointments and had the day to myself. So, I slept in… Read more

  • 7/19

    Jason is sleeping and, try as I might, I can’t stay down. When he’s at home, I try to wake at the same time he does. It’s a challenge since it’s difficult to sleep and, once my brain switches on, I begin to structure my day, what I want to do, should do, need to… Read more

  • The New Four Horsemen: Big Data, AI, 3D Printing, and Robotics

    There are Four Horsemen, right? DeathConquestFamineWar. Pale HorseRed HorseBlack HorseWhite Horse These are mentioned, I think, in the Old Testament and are supposed to be indicators of the End of Times and the Second Coming. After some thought, I think I’ve identified the up-to-date version of the Four Horsemen. . big data3d printingairobotics I’m kind… Read more

  • 7/4

    Okay. So, today, I’m feeling kind of lost. Jason is off of work. We don’t have a schedule. No real reason to go anywhere. It’s too hot outside to do anything substantial. No events. No appointments. Class has started but there’s nothing to grade right now. We might change the water softener filter and… ?… Read more

  • 7/3

    Yesterday…. yesterday was a bit rough. I took it on myself to fight my fear and mow the yard. Yes, I know how silly that sounds… mowing the yard. But it’s more than just moving. It’s the strength to start the mower, not freaking out when it stalls, and just doing it. Just the action… Read more

  • 6/28

    Lately, I’ve been feeling that I need to do more with less. I’m starting to become wasteful and even wanton – although I’m not sure how that word applies. It’s like I’m fattening up and not holding myself accountable or to as strict self-regulation as I have previously. This bloated feeling affects just about everything… Read more

  • 6/19

    This is seriously shameful, but I’m trying not to freak. I’m upset that the grass is getting high and it’s been an obsession all day. I’ve checked, double checked, triple checked the forecast. It’s promised rain. I’ve prayed for rain. For a storm. For a sprinkle. But, nothing. I didn’t have a whole lot of… Read more