after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

mental-health

  • 7/19

    Jason is sleeping and, try as I might, I can’t stay down. When he’s at home, I try to wake at the same time he does. It’s a challenge since it’s difficult to sleep and, once my brain switches on, I begin to structure my day, what I want to do, should do, need to Read more

  • The New Four Horsemen: Big Data, AI, 3D Printing, and Robotics

    There are Four Horsemen, right? DeathConquestFamineWar. Pale HorseRed HorseBlack HorseWhite Horse These are mentioned, I think, in the Old Testament and are supposed to be indicators of the End of Times and the Second Coming. After some thought, I think I’ve identified the up-to-date version of the Four Horsemen. . big data3d printingairobotics I’m kind Read more

  • 7/4

    Okay. So, today, I’m feeling kind of lost. Jason is off of work. We don’t have a schedule. No real reason to go anywhere. It’s too hot outside to do anything substantial. No events. No appointments. Class has started but there’s nothing to grade right now. We might change the water softener filter and… ? Read more

  • 7/3

    Yesterday…. yesterday was a bit rough. I took it on myself to fight my fear and mow the yard. Yes, I know how silly that sounds… mowing the yard. But it’s more than just moving. It’s the strength to start the mower, not freaking out when it stalls, and just doing it. Just the action Read more

  • 6/28

    Lately, I’ve been feeling that I need to do more with less. I’m starting to become wasteful and even wanton – although I’m not sure how that word applies. It’s like I’m fattening up and not holding myself accountable or to as strict self-regulation as I have previously. This bloated feeling affects just about everything Read more

  • 6/19

    This is seriously shameful, but I’m trying not to freak. I’m upset that the grass is getting high and it’s been an obsession all day. I’ve checked, double checked, triple checked the forecast. It’s promised rain. I’ve prayed for rain. For a storm. For a sprinkle. But, nothing. I didn’t have a whole lot of Read more

  • 6/8

    Jason, bless him, mowed the yards on Friday. Despite it being muggy and the discomfort it caused, he mowed. Thank goodness. It had been over a week and I don’t think I had the brain compacity to handle it. I’m getting better. I think I am. But I would have had a miserable weekend. Even Read more

  • 5/27

    The idea of living in a simulation has been around for a while. Popularized by the Matrix films and further embedded by people like Scott Addams, the exterminates of politics, and terms like being ‘red pilled,’ feeling like living in a simulation isn’t a foreign concept. But, I think that’s a little too complex. If Read more

  • 5/24

    Today, I just feel like I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to sleep although I know rest will not come. And the thing is that I have no idea why. For once, I slept (fairly) well and late. Well, late for me. It was actually around late in the 9 o’clock Read more

  • 5/21

    Well, John from CenterS gave me an assignment. Since he actually read some of my blog posts and took notes (!!), I thought I’d work on this. My assignment was to come up with ten songs that influenced or are important to me. In thinking, I’ve come up with a lot of honorable mentions but Read more