Some fruit of my not-so-polite college inquiries has yielded fruit.
I will be an online .. still adunct of course… of a Comp II course.

Positives:
–  Money
–  Something to do
–  Keeps the resume free of half a year work absences
– I don’t have to drive in the snow, since it’s an online course.
– Proves that at least one college felt like I was descent enough to have back — or they’re just short on help because of ITT’s closing.

Cons –
– Making money is addictive, especially when I want to pay off all of my bills – as soon as I can.
–  Slippery Slope –  If I can do one course successfully, why not two… why not three?
–  The Ivory Tower – they mysterious ways fo a college is not aways in the best interest of students or faculty 0 even though it’s spun like that.
–  While in the House, I determined that I do not like being an adjunct – actually, grown to despise it.  ONLY having a single course could be very different.  I’m hoping the single class will change my mind – but doubtful.  Once the mind is made up it’s made up.

Adjunct teaching – the increasing demands, ever changing college policies, 24/48 hour turn around times, and the strive to be perfect, all contributed to the Anorexia.
When I have over 300 poorly written 5 page papers to grade, comment, and return  within 24 hours, sleeping and eating become optional.

But things will be diferent this time right?  It’s just one class —  What’s one class wen compared with five that I’ve survived through.  Maybe I’ll remember what drew me into adjunct teaching in the first place.  There – had – to be something in it I liked, right?

And – this time – I’m taking a bit of control over the paychecks.  I started a checking account with the local credit union.  Paychecks will be deposited there – leaving the Florida account (the one the boyfriend uses) without a source of replenishment.  Don’t get me wrong – I’ll pay the bills here I have coming due – car insurance – student loan – credit card  —  but I’ll do it.  Not him.

I need to establish independence and nurture a feeling of power.  Abandoning anything – like a paycheck – could be “triggering.”

I’m not willing to surrender – anything – rather it be just be a paycheck, skipping a meal, or social events for the fear of what “might be said.”

Just one compromise could lead to two – three – and I’ve worked hard to push this eating disorder up the hill.   It’s NOT sliding back now.