after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

anorexic

  • 5/10

    It’s been tough lately. I’m sure I’m allowing this to be more than what it should be. I’m just stuck. Stuck bad. It’s getting nice out. The days are warmer. The sun is bright. One of the best things in the world is waking up lazily to birdsong. Hiding under the warm covers while the… Read more

  • 5/8

    It’s been a bit tough lately. It shouldn’t have been. It shouldn’t be. But it is, or rather, my perception is that it’s been rough. To recap a bit — I have surgical hardware – a titanium steel bar – that is fused to my spine. It’s been there for over thirty years. Actually, its… Read more

  • 4/30

    It’s been a strange week. Let’s see…. Well, um, I failed my dex scan. Although I haven’t heard back from the disfigurement doctor, I’m guessing that I’ll remain as I am now – at a standstill. That’s just doing what I’m doing. The next time the scan will be avaliable is in 2028.. The likelyhood… Read more

  • 2/7

    Thought-examining post. I’ve noticed something.If I feel forced to do something, or if there’s an activity, situation, or person I’m uneasy about, I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to meet the person. I don’t want to leave the area. I don’t want to alter my routine. I will feel anxiety and depression,… Read more

  • 12/4

    I joined the tube club. The wound care set me up with a doctor in a nearby hospital. I was in and out within an hour. There were some stark differences. The doctor from the local hospital was male. I was the last appointment of the day. Just kind of inserted in for a quick… Read more

  • 12/3

    The first of December was a day of firsts. It was my first encounter with HBO therapy. No, HBO therapy isn’t sitting around watching The Sopranos and Mad Men. Rather, it’s being placed into a tube that’s filled with complete and pure oxygen. It’s commonly used for burn victims, gangrene and to promote the body’s… Read more

  • I… I haven’t been well lately. A lot of this I think I’m placing on myself. I’m anxious about work. About my health. About relationships. About the holidays. Thanksgiving is less than a week away and I’m stressing. I’m quite happy with my current consumption of food. The pressure of mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing… I… Read more

  • 10/29

    I’m apprehensive about the SNAP thing. It doesn’t affect me. I’m not on SNAP, but given my history, I know food access shouldn’t be denied. It can be limited, difficult, have self-imposed boundaries, or medical restrictions. But denied? No more food stamps? It’s not just that. Americans have little to no, generally speaking, financial comprehension.… Read more

  • 10/18

    I feel like I messed up. Jason found this article from someone who claimed that 70% or higher dark chocolate (non-alkaline aka. – not Dutch chocolate) has a wealth of benefits. It has flavonoids, magnesium, anti-oxidants… ect. After a bit of quick research, we bought a bar of Tony’s from the local Wal-Mart. That evening,… Read more

  • 7/21

    Today… today is kind of a strange day. Typically, little sister and I would be out and about. If this was June, Jason would be here and the day would just happen. But, Jason and little sister had to work. I don’t have any appointments and had the day to myself. So, I slept in… Read more