after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

anorexic

  • 10/19

    Still here. I haven’t heard from plastics yet, but they’ve cleared me to walk the hall with assistance. I’ve completed three full laps – yay. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s crazy how much the little things matter. In hospitals, I’ve learned that it’s best to be thankful and not push to… Read more

  • 7/25

    I don’t think my deodorant works well. About a week ago or so, I finished with a stick of Hey Human – the fancy one that comes in a cardboard tube. Surprisingly, that one wasn’t bad or expensive. I think it goes for some $8 at Target but was $3 at Ollie’s. It didn’t have… Read more

  • 7/19

    The AI couldn’t comprehend the picture. Very disappointed. Read more

  • 5/10

    It’s been tough lately. I’m sure I’m allowing this to be more than what it should be. I’m just stuck. Stuck bad. It’s getting nice out. The days are warmer. The sun is bright. One of the best things in the world is waking up lazily to birdsong. Hiding under the warm covers while the… Read more

  • 5/8

    It’s been a bit tough lately. It shouldn’t have been. It shouldn’t be. But it is, or rather, my perception is that it’s been rough. To recap a bit — I have surgical hardware – a titanium steel bar – that is fused to my spine. It’s been there for over thirty years. Actually, its… Read more

  • 4/30

    It’s been a strange week. Let’s see…. Well, um, I failed my dex scan. Although I haven’t heard back from the disfigurement doctor, I’m guessing that I’ll remain as I am now – at a standstill. That’s just doing what I’m doing. The next time the scan will be avaliable is in 2028.. The likelyhood… Read more

  • 2/7

    Thought-examining post. I’ve noticed something.If I feel forced to do something, or if there’s an activity, situation, or person I’m uneasy about, I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to meet the person. I don’t want to leave the area. I don’t want to alter my routine. I will feel anxiety and depression,… Read more

  • 12/4

    I joined the tube club. The wound care set me up with a doctor in a nearby hospital. I was in and out within an hour. There were some stark differences. The doctor from the local hospital was male. I was the last appointment of the day. Just kind of inserted in for a quick… Read more

  • 12/3

    The first of December was a day of firsts. It was my first encounter with HBO therapy. No, HBO therapy isn’t sitting around watching The Sopranos and Mad Men. Rather, it’s being placed into a tube that’s filled with complete and pure oxygen. It’s commonly used for burn victims, gangrene and to promote the body’s… Read more

  • I… I haven’t been well lately. A lot of this I think I’m placing on myself. I’m anxious about work. About my health. About relationships. About the holidays. Thanksgiving is less than a week away and I’m stressing. I’m quite happy with my current consumption of food. The pressure of mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing… I… Read more