after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

anorexic

  • 10/18

    I feel like I messed up. Jason found this article from someone who claimed that 70% or higher dark chocolate (non-alkaline aka. – not Dutch chocolate) has a wealth of benefits. It has flavonoids, magnesium, anti-oxidants… ect. After a bit of quick research, we bought a bar of Tony’s from the local Wal-Mart. That evening,… Read more

  • 7/21

    Today… today is kind of a strange day. Typically, little sister and I would be out and about. If this was June, Jason would be here and the day would just happen. But, Jason and little sister had to work. I don’t have any appointments and had the day to myself. So, I slept in… Read more

  • 5/24

    Today, I just feel like I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to sleep although I know rest will not come. And the thing is that I have no idea why. For once, I slept (fairly) well and late. Well, late for me. It was actually around late in the 9 o’clock… Read more

  • 5/18

    Imagine that you’re an ant. You’re working with your colony in the moist dirt. It isn’t raining and newly hatched so there might be a peace to the community. There might be a feeling of harmony as everyone begins to work together for the greater goal of preparation for the queen, the extra mouths to… Read more

  • 4/27

    Jason is ill this weekend. I’m not sure what’s wrong outside of a sore throat. He won’t allow a doctor visit – which is understandable. Being the weekend, a doctor would probably be ER and there’s probably not a reason for that level of care. Although hauling him into Kroger or CVS for a quick… Read more

  • 4/2

    Kind of stick with me on this. As I mentioned in the previous post, this week has been against my usual routine of doctors and therapists. I had developed a fairly set routine with going out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and sometimes Tuesdays with Thursdays being ‘clean the house day.’ This week, I had Tuesday and… Read more

  • 3/16

    I just did something potentially crazy…. There was a Fat Con in Seattle early February. Out of morbid curiosity, I skimmed it, particularly the ticket prices and what was included. $1200 for VIP + Plus $600 for VIPAnd a couple of hundred for two days and about a hundred for a single day. It’s been… Read more

  • 3/5

    um….. My foot hurts. It hurts a lot. Me, someone who has lived with some sort of physical pain for the past forty or so years, have learned to ignore it, departmentalize pain, and accept it. It’s more of a constant companion than a bother. It reminds me that I’m alive, providing I acknowledge its… Read more

  • 12/27

    Now that Christmas as steamed rolled by, everything will start to become ‘normal.’ I’m not looking forward to normal. Normal often leads me to dark spaces in my mind, anxiety, becoming upset, desperate, and a very unhappy me. I I fear that I will become unstable. Not that I’m stable now… but just having people… Read more

  • 12/25

    Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. After years of those short but important phrases being all but taboo, it’s nice that they’re back. Or, at least, back until the next wave of societal flux into something else that’s basically unrecognizable and scary. I feel like I should be cleaning the house right now. Well, it’s not really… Read more