Buying is a source of power.
–  It’s something so simple that most tend to take it for granted.
Buying milk for the family?   That’s power.  Being able to pay a bill.  That’s power.  However, that’s not enough.

The ability to buy items to provide the basic and essential needs for ourselves and others isn’t considered “real” power.  It’s just basic.  Thing that anyone and everyone uses.   There’s little competition and little reason to advertise unless it’s one of those higher end brands, but that’s not even real most of the time.  ( Hint —  If the store  packaging looks exactly the same name-branded item with different labels, dollars to doughnuts it’s the same thing.  Bottle designs and packaging are expensive.  When a company resells its product to market to a lower price point, it’s the same stuff.  The consumer is paying 10% or more just to impress the fridge with something that’ll be tossed in a few days.)

Um… I digress and go off on a wild tangent.
Okay.  Power.  Power is the ability to purchase something that isn’t absolutely essential to life.

This can come in many forms that range from excessive bulk buying, to picking up a Snickers from impulse, to buying a car.  Yes, a car could be considered essential, but a 4.5 million dollar is really a bit much when a $13,000 Ford Fiesta would do just fine.

Ehhh…
Note:  I started writing this a couple of days ago with a simple theme in mind.  However, it seems to be difficult for me not to have my thoughts become social commentary – a topic I’m shy to talk about… but once I get going no one can shut me up.

Anywhosss…
I think I was about 14 when I started working.  I “pulled for Pioneer,” a job that’s probably too dirty for kids now-a-days.  In a way, I guess I can’t blame them.  Picture acres and acres of corn, a bunch of kids, during the Indiana summer.  Our mission:  to pull the tassels (the stringy top things for the non-agriculture minded) off as many stocks of corn as we possibly could.

Despite the environment, I didn’t mind the sweat, sunburn, and dehydration.   Work was work and I enjoy doing work.  Even more so, I enjoyed the paycheck.  Even more than that was I liked to save – not spend – just save.

Eventually, I started to feel secure with my savings that I started to treat myself.  It wasn’t anything major.  I didn’t go out to eat, buy clothes, or the teenie-bopper stuff that was popular at the time.  I considered all of the fluff stuff as wasted effort.

This was my equation:
Purchase = money.  Money = time.  Time = life.
—  In short, I didn’t think buying a $50 pair of jeans on a whim was worth 8+ hours of my life.  …  Keep in mind, the minimum per hour was a lot lower then than it is now.

If I was going to buy something, it has to be lasting, something I would enjoy, and something that would have multiple years of use.  Me being me lead me to one item in particular – jewelry.

Since I didn’t and still don’t like the cheap or fake jewelry, I had to buy myself the real deal.  For a period of years, during my birthday month, I would buy myself the most expensive piece of jewelry I would allow myself to purchase.   Hey – even I wasn’t so crazy to empty the bank account over a rock, no matter how pretty it was.

This happened for a period of years.  Some was stolen.  Some was lost.  I don’t have much of my collection left now, but I guess that doesn’t matter.  The thing was buying myself something that I could afford, didn’t need, and no one else would use it.   Selfish, yeah, but it was a self-sustaining selfishness.  I did this for myself without outside help.  That was the main theme.

Forward multiple years:
–  College happened.  Florida happened.  Adjunct work happened.   My little tradition, shaky to start out with, fled.  Other things, food, bills, car, became more important.  My working life hours became solely dedicated to taking care of others.

From my formula:
Money + work + life = survival.
There was no two was about it.  Survival trumps all.
That’s not to say I became an anti-consumer.  There are still things I wanted, but they took a back seat to food, shelter, and … admittedly… buying my significant other things he wanted when I felt that I could afford it or he really wanted it.

The last thing I bought for my personal and selfish use was a bike rack.   This just isn’t any bike rack, but one that would fit on my car, carry two bikes, and was a 85% off  Deal-of-the-Day from Amazon.  Because money = my life, what I did was place that bike rack in my Amazon shopping cart and stalked it for over a year.
– Every time there was a deal, I checked https://camelcamelcamel.com/ to make sure it was “the deal.”  If it wasn’t, I didn’t buy it.

So, where is this mythical bike rack?
It’s in my Florida home garage, pristine condition, and unopened for about six years now – probably since 2011.   Yep —  my years of waiting, debating, and hope of riding around in Florida parks is still in a box.   That was effort and my life well spent, wasn’t it?

Honest-to-goodness that was the last thing I purchased for myself… until about two days ago.

Being the scrooge I am, I collected Coke Points to redeem for gift certificates – which would be used to help buy presents.  Coke Points are free.  I could always scavenge some no matter where I went.  My only effort was trying to read the codes off bent bottle caps.  Well, since the Coke thing is coming to an end to be re-launched into something else that’s probably more stingy, I used my entire Coke Point fortune on $25 of gift certificates, a $50 off hotel code, and the remainder on some contest that I have no hopes of winning.

I invested my $25 gift certificates into a very selfish Fitbit Alta HR.  Dropping the price point from $150 to $125 + $10 tax seemed to be the best I reasonably thought I could get for this product that wasn’t refurbished.  And – it’s supposed to arrive sometime today.

Why a Fitbit?
Well, the eating disorder has been kicking around again – not in a good way.   Sleeping was once fair, but now becoming poor.  This fitbit tracks sleeping, calories, heart rate..  things I try to keep track of anyway… but only guess at.  This should help provide concrete information I can analyze and determine how to better myself.  I also know, without a doubt, that I’ll use it.

Being a slave to laptops and smartphones for years, I’m used to obeying bothering technology.

Right now, I really can’t believe I did this.  I believe to disbelieve and don’t take any personal pleasure in the purchase.  After all, I think it could serve a practical purpose – quite unlike my rings and necklaces from long ago – but it is a step in the right direction, right?

I wonder if Jason would call this a ‘quality of life’ purchase.
—  It might be.  That’s how he got me to buy toaster… that I didn’t want… but absolutely loved.

I just hope I don’t regret it.
The $25 gift certificate could have went to on-line groceries and kitty treats for Jason.
Trying not to think about it!!

Geez… why does everything have to be so drama with me?