I don’t look at the Columbus paper often.
–  I guess I became a bit spoiled in Florida.   There, I read the Wall St. Journal, Bloomburg, the Economist and, every once in a while, the Tampa Tribune and the St. Pete Times.  I can guarantee that there was never a front page headline about keeping live chickens within city limits.

Well, whatever they got to do to stay in business, right?  This is why there’s like three people who own all the newspapers in the world.  –  It’s not a hot business and someone has to control the fake news.

Regardless of which area code I’m in, I will read the comics.  After a brief scavenger hunt, I was rewarded with Baby Blues, Dilbert, and Zits.  As I interiorized their bits of black and white wisdom, I saw the horoscopes.

As anyone of any intelligence knows, horoscopes are developed by monkeys throwing darts at the county fair.  What ever the dart hits, even if it’s the ground or the carney, becomes the horoscope of the day.   Honestly, a piece of paper in a fortune cookie has more of a chance to be accurate than a horoscope from a mass produced publishing syndicate.  But, whatever.  The paper has to fill up some space since they’re too cheap for Non Sequitur and scared of Doonesbury.

On this particular day June 14, my horoscope was:

“If you are willing to compromise, you will be able to resolve any issue.”

—  At first, I was offended.  Honestly!

Look at it in the different parts:

—  If you are willing to compromise.
Compromise as in bargain, settle, and concession.
As a verb, it means accepting standards lower than what is acceptable.

—  you will be able to resolve any issue.”
Resolve = deal with, fix, settle.

If I am ready to make a bargain to compromise my standards, I will be able to deal with any issue.
(–  So, I’m stretching here a little bit, but this interpretation is what came to mind.)

If I can let my standards fall, issues will be resolved.
If I surrender what I think is right, I will not encounter conflict.

Really?
At least Cancer got “Consider venturing into unfamiliar territory….”  Sounds enjoyable.
Libra gets to have some fun and private one-on-one encounters.  (This particular horoscope is from a G rated paper.   Get your mind out of the gutter.)
Even Jason’s sign, Leo, got the Karma – help others to help yourself.

And I get squat.
I get a horoscope that tells me to surrender my standards and give in.

Okay..  I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this!
Rant done, I guess.

That’s disappointing.  I was hoping to wrap it up in a neat sarcastic bow.

Don’t believe horoscopes.  They suck!

(K.   That’ll do it.)