Well, hello.

I know I’ve had a prolong absence from posting until a couple of days ago.
–  Life was just a little crazy between Jason’s visit and that clingy creepy class.
It’s over.   It’s both over.   Jason has safely returned to Florida.  The class ended last Wednesday.

Life is starting to return to normal.
This week, I’m pretty booked up.   I’m hanging out with my brother on Wednesday and Thursday.   My sister and I are tearing it up on Tuesday and Saturday.     I’ve got Monday and Friday to be myself.    Not to sure what I’m going to do tomorrow, but the gym will be involved.

As for tonight, I’m going to finish this, shower, make myself dinner, and watch Disenchanted on Netflix if Jason doesn’t call.  (I’m really surprised I haven’t see more advertisement for Disenchanted than I have.   This is Groening’s new baby after all.  It’s worth at least a couple of episodes of attention – minimum.)

Since I am class-less for the next week, I’m feeling pretty fancy free.  —
I don’t want to get started on that 250.    It’s behind me and I want it to stay behind me — way behind.

Went to the cancer check a few days ago.
–  I’m fine.     I think this was my third cancer check.    Only about 20 more to go and the next one is in November.  Instead of going by myself, I asked mom to come, which she did.    She hasn’t really quizzed me about wedding and thought that would give her ample opportunity to do so.

— Which she really didn’t.
I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed, but it is what it is and the moment has passed.

It’s a weird feeling… waiting to be interrogated and it not happen.   It’s kind of like waiting for a birthday surprise party that never comes.       You expect it, wait for it, look for signs… and nada.   It’s kind of like when I was a kid.

Well, I’m still single and ready to mingle.  =)
While Jason was here and it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to marry, I had a weird reaction.  I felt rejected, for some reason.    Considering the amount of brain angst that it caused, I would that that I should feel relieved.    It’s like dodging a bullet.    It’s comfortable here.  I don’t have to worry about money.    There’s people I can talk to if I want and I can be alone if it pleases me.    I have a mode of transportation —  a little blue truck.

Still, that’s not fair to Jason.
I guess I can’t have my cake and eat it to, but still…    I don’t know.   Don’t want to think about it right now.

Food… ha ha ha.
I don’t think I’ll ever get away from that vice.
—  While we were at Gencon, I think I did pretty well, considering.   Once we got back home, I feel like I started overeating and went back to my old staple – cereal.  Plus, we ate out a lot.   Although we did take some long walks, I didn’t do my ‘intensity’ workouts.

To compensate, I’ve been pretty much doing my four hours of cardio every day.   Sometimes, if I feel up to it or ate something I feel that I shouldn’t have, I’ll spin stops and gyms downtown for a couple of hours.

All of this is beginning to wear on me a bit.
I’ve felt fairly exhausted the past couple of days, but I’ll get over it.   No worries.
And, yes, planning on doing the gym and downtown tomorrow.    I also need to do a little shopping.   Somehow, I ripped my jeans in a very unfortunate area.

I need to spend some $$$$ — but that’s okay.   I’m still working on not feeling guilty for buying myself things…   and I don’t looking at the sizes, of course.   I can’t help but look at the smaller sizes and thinking that I was — there. –…  but not any more.

This is a challenge that I’ll have deal with, but I’m okay.
I want to go by myself.  If anyone comes with me, I become embarrassed and, to top it off, they usually pay for it.  So, this is just going to be me.

It’s all good.   guuud.  gooooood

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