Last night wasn’t any different than the night before.
I was awake about every two to two and a half hours.  I roamed the house sans glasses but with Croc sandals.

I ate right around 6am.
–   One Light and Fit Strawberry Cheesecake yogurt and a couple of non-fat Eggo waffles.
It’s not exactly the breakfast of champions.  But, fortunately, I was out of Wheaties and I don’t want any more.   If they’re there, I’ll eat them and I don’t want to eat them.

My breakfast, non-Chobani and fairly tasteless waffles, isn’t something that I would eat in Florida.  My Floridian might be spoiled a little to much – which is my fault.  Sure, Eggo can’t compare with a good Van’s, Kashi, or Nature’s Path, but they’re cheap and available as is the Dannon yogurt.

Okay, okay, okay.  It is my fault.    A long time ago, when I was on the positive side, we went for a New Year’s Day walk.   Since he wouldn’t make his own resolution, I made one for him.   I think it went something like he wasn’t to eat “well,” but to eat “healthy.”    Something like that.

In short, that meant avoiding a lot of processed foods, going full grain when possible, and avoiding the cheap overly-processed and fattening foods.  i.e.  Spaghettios and other stuff his mom fed him as a kid.  =)

At the time, this was before the anorexia, I was dead serious.    I wished that for him more than anything on that New Year’s day and he’s stuck with it, bless his heart.   Some compromises have to be made here and there for budget purpose, but he doesn’t eat cheap Eggos like I do.      I’m hoping that’s part of the reason why he’s so healthy.

Back on track….   My day started pretty late.  Well, late for me.   It was sister day and she wasn’t ready to go until right around 10.   I had to wait on her even – after – she texted me saying she was ready to go.
——–  Yes, we text when we live in the same house.   She’s at one end.   I’m at the other.  This way, we don’t yell at each other.  Besides, I can tell if she’s awake or not because the whole house can hear her Harry Potter music chime when she gets a text.  It’s kind of convenient.

Eventually, off we go.
On the way, I touch very lightly on her diabetes.  Rather, pending diabetes.   She told me that the doctor said she was one point away from being considered one.     Then, we turned to random gossip about the town and the street.   I always get a really good earful of what’s going on at her job.  We talked about boys, clothes, and potentially movies she might pay my way in to see.

Sister stuff, really.
I just have this little voice in the back of my head reminding me that whatever I say would likely be repeated to mom, rather I want it to or not.  It really kind of frustrating knowing that nothing I say could be considered confidential.

Got to the gym.
She does her thing.  I do mine, but I go by her time table.    I got one hour on the elliptical going forward.  One hour going backwards.  She walked on the treadmill and did some of the weight machines.   In about two hours, I was informed that lunch would be at Montana Mikes.

For those who don’t know, Montana Mikes is a quasi steak, burger, chicken place.   When my sister and I visit, it’s primarily for the pork chops.    I’m not an expert, but they’re big and they taste really good.   So, that’s what we had.

The pork chop dinner comes with two chops.  I had a salad and steamed veggies with mine — didn’t eat the cauliflower.  Don’t like it.    She had chops, loaded mashed potatoes, and cheesy macaroni.  I had unsweet tea with Splenda.   She had sweet tea.  We each had one roll with butter while waiting.  —  The rolls are awesome.   Oh yeah.  I am a — full — believer of coupon usage and had one for a free appetizer.  We got loaded French fries that came with ranch dipping sauce.    I picked at a few of them, but my sister seemed to like them before they got to cold.

We talked some more and looked up random things on our phones.   Both of us listened to the conversations around us.  Yes, so what if we’re a little nosey?   I think we’re both people watchers and was drinking in the atmosphere around us.
The table next to us was having a conversation about Amazon sellers.   I could tell that she had to try really hard not to butt in.

I was a bit surprised about how adamant she was about swimming.
You see, we swam once this summer at a campground.  It was busy, but we enjoyed it.   The original plan today was to go back there, but early morning showers nixed that.     She thought about going next week, but that’s Labor Day weekend.    I doubt that there would be half-an-inch of space between people in a pool for summer’s ‘last blast.’

But, we’ll see.  It can be a little difficult to predict what my sister wants to do.   I’m just along for the ride.

Afterwards, we headed straight home after a stop at Starbucks.    An indulgent meal isn’t enough.  With my sister, we go big.   She got some apple juice/green tea concoction.    I got the Cacao Protein Blended Cold Brew thing with extra cacao but made with fat free milk instead of coconut milk.   (Fingers crossed the swap lowers the fat and calorie count.)     The extra cacao makes the drink fairly bitter.   Mom, the coffee queen, doesn’t even like it.    I think it’s okay, but I wouldn’t add more.

—  Bring back my lime refresher drink, Starbucks.  =(

I really can’t help but wonder about her.   My sister, her…   She’s on the edge of diabetes, but drinks sweet tea, eats starches, and who knows how much sugar full flavored apple juice has in it.  (I’ve found candy wrappers in her room and empty Blizzard cups in her car.)

She clings to ‘all things in moderation,’ but I’m not sure she knows what ‘moderation’ means.  Hell, I don’t.   It’s a word preached by doctors but is never really defined.    Even when I went to a nutritionist, she said the word varied based on someone’s lifestyle, history, and activity.

My sister works hard.  She’s over 30 and has seen me at both ends of the spectrum   – skeletal and big.  I think I scared her.  Scratch that.  I know I did.  I probably scared her a lot.    And, from her viewpoint, she knows cancer runs in the family.    She knows that ulcer that grew in me could grow in her.   She doesn’t want to deny herself like I did and still do, partially.

She shouldn’t have to.

I just wish she’d stop with the sugar, regardless of the form it’s in.

Anyways… because of my big dinner and the cacao protein thing, I’ve absolved myself from eating anything for the rest of the night, outside of possibly the protein shake mom makes me.    I might have that before I go to bed so maybe the protein will help build muscles.  =)  =)

Tomorrow, I’m not going to the gym.
Rather, it’s downtown day (if it doesn’t rain) in an attempt to work on that silly game I mentioned in yesterdays post.

My sister can be very kind.
So kind to the point that I really really have to watch what I say sometimes, least she orders it off Amazon.

She’s my kid and I only want the very best for her without ruling her — as I did when I was a child.

It’s not my place.  It’s not my place.   It’s not my place, but is it so difficult.

I got to trust her.