I’m trying something different.

I’m sitting g outside, in the dark.  There’s a firetruck wailing in the background.  Fish jumping in the bay.  Waiting for Jason to get out of class.

Normally, I’d be walking around while waiting for him to get out of class.  But, I’ve pushed myself a bit today.  According to pokemon go, I’ve walked nearly 19km and the back of my right leg is spongy.

I think I’m over walking today.  It doesn’t help that I haven’t ate anything substantial in over 5 hours.  Yeah, maybe that’s the anorexia in me paying for the pizza the other day.

I did manage to talk myself into buying a skinny mocha latte from Starbucks.  Which promptly half went down my shirt because I wasn’t paying attention.

I don’t think the stain is going to come out and I smell like coffee.

I’m not sure why I do this to myself….  the starving and walking.  I’m not sure how many miles 19km is, but it’s probably more than a same 40 something woman would willing do.

I guess 5he obvious answer is because I can, but that’s only half right.  There’s got to be something more.

Maybe that’s were the anorexia kicks in….  the mental illness that has me on antidepressants.  The disease that worries the family.

Sure, the cancer worries them to, but the anorexia is private.  It’s something that I struggle with.  Sometimes,  I don’t even realize it or want to acknowledge it.  People may suspect, but not really know.

I’m 50 pounds overweight,  so I can’t be anorexic by definition, right?

__. Silver fish splash.

I dunno. It takes a lot to come to Florida and not have that safety net I have in Indiana.  Jason is here,  but since i don’t understand it, i certainly don’t expect him too.

One thing is for certain. I’m going to sleep well tonight.

Hopefully,  he gets out of class soon.  I bought this footlong roast beef and swiss for him, but his prof is old school.  No food. No drink. Anything that could be considered a distraction will cause grade loss.   That’s a stiff policy for college.  Bet the prof is going to hold class up to the very last minute too.  That’s about another half an hour.

I’ve been on this bench for about half an hour now.  The leg is becoming more stiff.

Dern, I’m hungry.

No…..  I’m not going to eat his sandwich. It’s got extra onions and spicy mustard.  Those are no gos for me.

If I was warmer, I’d probably go to sleep on this bench.  There was a guy about half a mile back who found his bench to be pretty comfortable.   But, he had some sort of grocery bag pillow.  Seemed like he was a pro at making benches comfortable.

Here’s a thought. I got a key to Jason’s Mazda.  Maybe I’ll limp over there and rest while I wait.  If I limp slow enough, I might meet him as he comes out of class.

That seems like a stellar idea.

I can’t see the stars here anyway.   There’s too much light in Florida.   They don’t know what the dark is.

Well, night