I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year.

I can see the faded green coming back in winter scorched tree bark…..

……….

Grrrr…

I love spring, okay.
Spring is coming, but it hasn’t sprung just yet.
It’s trying.   Starts of Easter Lillies are pushing up from the grown.   There’s green.   I see buds on trees.   The decay left over from last winter is coming to light and bring that nice musty smell back from the fall.

But, the weather really confuses the heck out of the Herrington Rods.   It was nearly 70 yesterday.   Today, it’s in the mid to upper 40s with lots of strong wind and an actual tornado sighting…. which was really just a bunch of stuff blowing around in a circle, but it had the potential to be a tornado.

I think it’s supposed to rain and be cold on Friday.    I’m hoping for a halfway
descent Saturday, but I wouldn’t count on it.

The back muscles are seriously twitching.   That does not make me a happy camper and puts me a bit on edge…  much like the situation I got myself into with the so-called Dr. S and my supervisor.

I complained about her lack of communication and neither one could really understand what my beef is…. Well, was.    I’ve given it up.  If communication in the workplace isn’t important, then it’s not important to me either.    They can suck it.   I have other things to spend my energy on.

Anyway…. another thing about March is that this is the month when Jason and my mom conspired to have me move back to Indiana because of my anorexia.  I’m owning it.   I was anorexic.  Anorexic was me.

When I got back here, it took a little while to dawn on me that was what their plan was about.   Honestly, I had no idea why Jason would send me away except for relationship issues and why mom wanted me to go to the doctor so badly.

I thought I was fine, but I always think I’m doing okay.   Even when I know I’m not okay, I think I’m okay because I can handle it.  It’s just like the twitchy muscles and being part cyborg for over half of my life.  I deal with it.   I’m fine, even if it’s apparent to the whole entire world that I’m not.

But, I’ve never really given a flying frack what the whole entire world thought of me anyway.

The March I was unknowingly shipped back up here was late March.  I want to say it was about 70 every day.  Spring was in full display.   Everything was so green and bright.  I could pratically feel things growing.

Everything – and I mean everything – from the running of the river to rising of the sun – made me cry by how beautiful everything just seemed to be.   More importantly, I cried how life was coming back, which is really kind of funny considering how close to death I was.  Was and maybe even wanted to be.

I was in such a sorry state, although everything was “fine.”

Course, I could blame my tears on fuzzy brain.  I wasn’t allowing myself to get enough nourishment to keep the blood in my veins, let alone my brain working properly.   But, I prefer to think of it as my homeland trying to heal me…  Maybe trying to share some of that magic life of spring with me to revitalize my withered body.

Well, either way here I am.   Still.
I know spring is here.  Rather, will be here soon.   It’s only a matter of time until the green comes back.

Other then that, I’ve been feeling uncharacteristically exausted.  Like, it’s 8pm and I feel I could just go to sleep.   It’s also been difficult getting up in the mornings, which is unusual since I’m typically a morning bird.

I’m a little cnocerned about my eyesight.     I got my eyes tested a couple of weeks ago and I’m just a little more nearsighted now then I was last year.   Not a big deal, but I’ve got this bump on the side of my eye now.    It’s been there for about a week and hurts a bit.  It doesn’t look like a pimple, but sometime makes that eye see things a bit blurry.  Well, more blurry then normal.

I’m sure it’ll go away soon, but right now it’s an inconvience.

Schedule for the rest of the week…

Tomorrow, little sister day.
We’re supposed to leave around 6am to go to somewhere around Beech Grove for this really good mani/pedi Groupon she bought.    Hit the gym and head home.    I get the feeling that we’re not going to be out overly late tomorrow, which is good.   Tomorrow, I’ve got discussion board duty.

Saturday is my ‘day’ I guess.   I’m going to head to the gym and, weather permitting, catch some dragons.   Since baby brother has to work, I need to capture at least two, but would prefer four or more.   I don’t have this dragon and would like to get a good one.

Sunday and Monday is little sister days plus grading plus discussion board.   That’s pretty standard.

And Tuesday… little sister starts working again.
Crossing fingers that everything goes smoothly.   The girl doesn’t know how to stop spending.   She needs to work.  Besides, I could use more ‘me’ time.  Between little brother and little sister, I haven’t been getting very much of it.

Tonight, I’m going to have a protein shake, a bag of popcorn, and check in on the discussion board in right about an hour from now so I won’t have so much to do tomorrow.

I’ll try to watch Shield Hero or Promised Neverland.    If you don’t know what those are, shame on you.    Google it.   They’re excellent shows.

Regardless, I’ll go to sleep way earlier then someone my age should.   But, that’s okay.  I don’t really have a reason to stay up late.

–  Peace.

Have a good one.