I’ve felt exceedingly fragile since I’ve been here.

That’s difficult for me to admit, but it has been and I think my seams are showing.

When I  came to Florida previously, I always had a plan.    Even if it was just buying a new doormat, I had a plan.  Doormats can be epic adventures too, you know.

I completed side quests, but there was always a main goal or goals.  I had a physical focus.

These goals gave me a feeling of purpose.   I could make plans or whatnot.   Feeling of importance.   Of why I’m here.

This trip… has felt like a battle heading up Kilimanjaro.

I really didn’t have much of a plan.  The doormats don’t need to be replaced.   There’s a couple of odds and ends that I’d like to do, but have been waiting on the roof first.   I know there’s a contract, but if they start pulling up the shingles and find subpar wood or termite damage, I’m going to want that replaced.  That’s going to cost more, obviously.

Although it pains me, one project at a time… but the amount of nagging, worrying, and bad feelings that went into getting to this step in waiting for a schedule was more difficult than I participated.

No, not money-wise… yes, that sucks but that’s what loans are for…

I think it really took the wind away from me when he said that he was shying away from replacing the roof, despite the desperate need.    Literally, I felt slapped.

But, I need to get over it.
We’re just waiting on a scheduled date for some guys to come put and put harbor blue Owenings shingles.   It’s done.

….  just watched an ad for a foot controller for the PS4.  ???
Something to go with the very glasses unfriendly VR controller?

I don’t need virtual reality.   Real reality is enough right now.  That’s okay.

I’ve felt so senseless that I haven’t been able to bring myself to write about anything, despite having the desperate need and desire to do so.

..    About 12 hours have passed and I feel a little better internally.

Didn’t do much but sleep and walked around a bit.   Good day, I guess.   Just super lazy.

Lazy, lazy, lazy, but good.

I need more good days.