At home today… which isn’t that bad.

I’m pretty sure I walked over ten miles yesterday between St. John’s Pass and Seminole.    Towards the end of my sojourn, my legs were going nope, nope, nope, nope.   They were mostly numb for the rest of the night… which is good.  My back was doing enough aching for both regions.

Why did I do this?
Because I’m not that smart.

Because I got to the stage in Wizards United where I needed to walk five portkeys.  For those who don’t know, portkeys are like eggs in Pokemon.   They have to be walked to gain what’s inside… which is usually bupkiss.  But, it is a reason to move.

So… five keys in one day.   Challenge accepted.  3k, 3k, 3k, 5k, 2k,
Plus, that doesn’t count the little I went forgetting to key a portkey and the times I wondered into a non-serviceable area

Confirmed.   Goggle said 16k is 9.9 miles.    Close enough.
Not bad for an overweight anorexic.   I still have to prove to myself that I won’t need a walker or a wheelchair ever again.     This is how I do it.

Again, not smart, but it’s a reset.   I know I can do it.

But, the anorexic way of thinking did kick in.  It actually kind of became a driving factor.

St. John’s Pass is a touristy place.   I became hungry and actually acknowledged I was, which is still kind of amazing.   I decided to eat something.   But, I wasn’t going to pay $13 dollars for a bowl of (leaves) or $17 for a piece of grilled chicken.

Spending money is directly related to my anorexia.   I don’t want to do it.    Dear reader, you may not think there’s a connection between a $13 salad and a $7000 roofing bill, but there is.

Everything is connected.
I don’t care who you are and what it is, but everything is connected.   Splurging on a lunch connects to paying bills.

I started walking and found a 7-11 about a mile away, but didn’t see anything there that was reasonable.  Walked a bit more and went into a Speedway.

I know I’m in trouble when gas station pizza smells good.   So, I got a 89 cent yogurt bar and a 89 cent mighty cup of diet Mountain Dew.  That was lunch.

I walked and walked and walked to the point where I could satisfy my need not to spend a lot of money, eat healthy-ish, and satisfy the inner anorexic by keeping it under 200 calories.

How friggen crazy is that?
If it was anyone else, they would just spend the money and enjoy watching the waves come in.

But nope.   Not me.
I had to go on a mini-epic adventure for a yogurt granola bar and save $10.

After I got my stuff, I just kept walking away from the beach until Jason picked me up.

Looking back on it now, it’s kind of crazy.

Not walking the 10 miles.    I’m pretty proud of that.   Rather, the whole trek for lunch.  At the time, it’s perfect.   It makes absolute sense.    And it’s nothing that I would consider if anyone — anyone at all was with me.  But, apparently, it’s a-okay for me not to afford myself the same consideration I would to others.

It kind of makes my head hurt if I think about it… so I’m not.

It’s just frustrating.

It’s a step back – way back – from the girl who used to buy herself a piece of jewelry and a $50 birthday dinner alone.

Yeah, adulting is hard.
I get it.

Still sucks.

Whelp, since I’m not doing any treks today, I think I’ll check on the class and maybe do some yard work.  I need to find the cat and see if he’s okay.

The people across the street have apparently decided to install their own roof.  She’s an elementary teacher and he works as some sort of paralegal.   I think they have some friends helping them, but so far it just seems to be a reason for them to drink beer, play loud music, and make a lot of banging noise.

It makes Sneezles apprehensive.

Anyways… I need to do something.

peace.