Maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t have children.

If I had one earlier in life, she or he would probably be around fifteen right now, going through the Covid, and possibly had a liberal education.    As most public schools tend to be liberal, intentionally or unintentionally, based on the government’s leanings.

Her life would be goverened by arbritatry grades and a standardized test.  I’d imagine extra-cirricular activities would stop her from enjoying childhood while deemed necessary by her friends for college.

The pressure could turn her to have an eating disorder or maybe drugs.   With Covid, she may become afraid of her own shadow – based on how much influence media has over her.  Everything would have to be steamed to kill the germs.

Course, that’s if she had a public education.   Personally, I would rather home-school or place her in a private school.

That means my life would be drastically changed.   While I think I could still be an adjunt, I would be absolutely devoted to the care and education of this child.  I would want to show and give her opportunities that I wish I had and was denied.

Course, that could lead to spoilage – which would totally break my heart.    I don’t know if I could stand a spoiled child who feels everything should be given to her.

But, given my tendencies for a solidary nature, at some point Jason would have to take over.   Without time alone to reflect, I become a very unhappy and somewhat mean person.  I would have to trust Jason to have the same parenting qualities and criteria as I do, if not better.

Which could become a source of arguements.   While people have the best interests at heart, they’re not going to agree all the time.   Which is great and should be expected, but it does cause some conflict.

I would absolutely be more paranoid about money than I am now, providing that’s even possible, but I don’t think I would be judgy or obnoxious about the friends they make.  Trust has to be somewhere in the relationship.

Global warming would not be on the top ten things that I would worry about as a parent.   Rather, I’d fear that the child would have a miserable adulthood, ruled by social media, and plagued by mistrust of practically everything.   Course, opposite, I would fear that the child would just joyfully join groupthink for societial acceptance and her peers.

Either way, a miserable adult or a brainwashed one isn’t doing anyone any favors.  Rather, it just might add to the problem.

And why would I want a child anyway?
My life wouldn’t be as it is now.   I would feel more trapped than I already am.  I could project unreasonable expectations on the child and inadvertantly cause her entire life to be messed up.  I don’t think I’d want that responsability.  Who knows what type of impact a child would have on Jason’s family.  … Positive, I hope, but you never know.

So, maybe, just maybe, it’s best that the way things are now.
Maybe it was meant to be this way.