The county fair started a couple of days ago – last Friday.

Although I don’t intend on paying the $7 parking fee and tempt myself with a nice grease dipped elephant ear, I am glad to see it back.

Every now and then, I have this insane urge to spend money – a lot of it – on myself. One time, it manifested as an expensive trip. Then, it was patio furniture… then it was was jewlery. Just odd things that I would like to do, persuade myself that I’m ‘due’ and I ‘deserve’ them. I’d feel miserable for a couple of weeks until, eventually, I just let it go.

It’s frustrating, but money and life often is.

I feel vindicated because I know my money needs to be saved for more important and concrete things rather than for a passing want and fancy.

Course, right now, that fancy is wanting to go to the fair.

I think I would really like to have my body straightened by the Gravitron, soar around in the high swings, and ride the boat. When I was a girl, the merry-go-round and tilt-a-whirl where favorites. It’s nice to think about, although I wont.

It’s far more important to replace the pipes in the Florida house than to have two minutes on a tilt-a-whirl.

So, all I can do is think of the past.

I remember… I remember one year I was at the fair with Tommy and Mike.
This was probably early high school. Tommy, Mike, and I went to middle school together, but separated ways after. They went to North and I East. (Looking back on it, I think I shoud have went to North. East was really kind of messed up and didn’t receive the financial support of North. East was worn down in comparison and the teachers tired.)

Anyway, I had the biggest crush on Tommy for ever and ever and ever. He had a beautiful smile, dark curley hair, and bright blue-green eyes. He didn’t do so well in classes, but was street smart. Making friends came easy to him and I felt special that I was one of his strongest friends. I would have liked to have kissed him, at least once, but I don’t think he ever felt that way about me.

I was obsese – more so than I am now – and he primarily dated one of my best friends at the time. Although their relationship was mostly drama, I wasn’t one to get in the way of it. Rather, I listened to each side and tried to be as supportive as I could.

Mike — never Mikey because of that commercial — was our poor version of Loki. He thought he was far smarter and funnier than he actually was. He was also impossible to confide in as he was open with information. Honestly, I’m not sure why my little click kept him around except that he had known Tommy longer than I had. His mom would throw great parties every now and then and, I suppose, every group needed a kind of a fall guy.

It was just the three of us walking around on the fairgrounds. I was in the middle. Tommy on the right. Mike on the left. We watched people on the rides, talked about school, wrestling (that was a thing everyone was in back then), and the future. Just, life in general. None of us could afford the overpriced lemonade or other offerings, so we were on equal terms.

It was just an evening to enjoy each other’s company without drama, worry, or expectation. I was also feeling pretty special that I was in the company of two guys. Mike – eh – Tommy – yay. But, still… two guys. I think it really lifted my self-confidence.

Eventually, we collected some helium ballons and — I don’t remember which one did it first — untied one and started inhaling. The other one quickly copied.

…. I just could not believe it.
Their voices… what they said… Until that time, I don’t remember ever laughing so much. They where simply insane. Moreover, we didn’t know who saw it as we marched between the 4-H booths just being crazy.

It’s hard to explain. But, it was great and the feeling of camaraderie was wonderful.

I don’t remember if we were driving or someone picked us up, but eventually we all went our separate ways.

Time passed and I, eventually, lost track of Tommy and Mike.

From what I’ve heard, Tommy got married to his high school sweetheart – Eva – and had a daughter. Some years later, he died in a motorcycle crash.

It was rumored that Mike became an elementary school teacher. I wouldn’t have seen that coming in a million years. There was also a rumor that he discovered he was gay. I guess that could explain some of his devotion to Tommy.

That was years and years ago.
I don’t think I’d recognize Mikey if I saw him. No clue where Tommy was buried and, I guess, it’s not my place to know.

Still, this is what I remember.
I wonder if my old crew ever thinks about me.