After several months, I’ve got my routine back.
Wake up eary – gym – work (if any) – writing/chilling in the evening.

I feel retty good with this routine.
Course, it’s going to go butt side up when I get back to Florida. It’s one of the penalties of having somene in my life, I guess.

Tomorrow, I’m not going to go to the gym. I’ve hit it hard and heavy for the past couple of days. I’ll chill tomorrow and go again on Thursday and Friday — depending on what the little sister has planned. She’ll be home in a couple of days. When she’s around, I tend to bend to whatever she wants. That’s fine. It’s cool to hang with her.

I’ve started to watch season 4 of The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s forcefully reminded me that I haven’t watched the third season and maybe not the entire second season. I’m piecing it together. It’s fine.

Recently, I’ve been worried about memory.
It’s gotten to where I forget the most simple of things – even while I’m in the action.
For example, there’s a series of warm-up stretches I’m supposed to do. Not always do, but should do. Consistantly, I forget where I am in doing that routine or only do one side when both legs and arms should be stretched.

I forget what I’ve said to someone or if I was supposed to do something.
I only remember what I had for breakfast this morning because I’ve had it all week. If something varied, I’d probably would forget what that variation happened and what was it.

It feel like a plesant and thick fog behind my eyes. How much I can see through it depends on the day and situation.

This is quite a bit different than the old me. When I was in full mastermind mode, thoughts where painfully sharp and clear. They where puzzle pieces that needed to be jammed and modified into ways I see fit.

Now… I’m not even sure if I take my meds in the morning. I * think * I do. I’d like to think that I’d know it if I missed my thyroid and Prozac. I should be insanely tired and psychotic. I trust myself I do, but I honestly don’t remember swallowing the chalky pills in the morning.

Those are meds that I can’t really double-down on. Taking them twice in the same day certainly isn’t recommended. I should really come up with a system where I would know if I took them or not. Maybe like those little daily pill bottles. But, I’m too lazy. That’s for older people who can’t remember, right?

Not for me. I’ve got the forgetfullness but not the age.

I have to wonder if the fog is a side-effect of the anorexia and stress. Or, it’s a self-defense measure — kind of like my spine surgery. I locked that away from myself as quickly as possible.

Twenty years ago, I would never have pictured myself in my current state.
I’m probably better off, to be honest.

Despite the fog, I’m greateful.

Everyone else can rule the world. It’s not worth the trouble.