Gabs watched intently.
She studied every move Saddy made, making note of every touch. When Saddy placed Aldren’s head on her lap and brushed back her hair, she cringed. The gesture couldn’t be affection. It couldn’t be love or concern.

Rather, it was a ploy move. Saddy wanted something and this sort of attention was just a means to an end. What Saddy was playing at didn’t matter. In Gabs’ mind,

…. I’m having a really hard time focusing my mind right now.
I want to write this right now but I can’t really focus. I’m feeling mentally fragile and physically tired. This stems from actually being politely confrontational with Jason’s mom and, to a wider extent, with how I feel that I’m regarded.

Course, this comes during Thanksgiving weekend — a time when I was hoping Jason would be able to have a mental cooldown and everything with his family would go peachy.

It doesn’t go peachy.
His family, especially his mom, remind me of people that I actively avoided in high school.

But… it really wouldn’t be appropriate to go into that. I know that I’m unusually upset and it’s just sticking. Honestly, I’m not even thinking about the situation or what was said. All of that’s in the past and I honestly don’t care.

I’m more concerned with these negative feelings lingering which are, once again, delaying my work on a book — a goal that I’ve been trying to achieve for over twenty years.

That upsets me that I’m allowing this negativity to invade that goal when I actually have time to write.

The whole thing hurts my head.

I’m going for a walk.