I’m kind of taking it easy today.

Amanda is in town for the next couple of days. So, instead of tasking myself to the gym, I’ve slept in and have just been hanging around until she decides she wants to do something — which is, apparently, going out for lunch and then — nothing.

I’d like to do something but I suppose nothing is okay too on occasion. I really like to keep myself busy. It helps negate some of the cloudy thoughts.

I don’t want to go out to eat. It’s the whole spending money thing. I don’t want anyone to spend any needless money when there’s an economic and social storm brewing overhead.

I tried to explain this to Dr. S yesterday. But, she claimed (in a nice and roundabout way) that I don’t trust people to know their own finances and refuse to be helped. She said that it was an irrational fear and, although there’s a lot of negative news and worldly happenings, things will get better. They always do.

I agree with her. Things will get better. But, that time isn’t right now. When riding a roller coaster, the people in the car aren’t concentrating on what they’re going to have for dinner. Rather, the slow click-click-click of going uphill fills their minds and, maybe, some may consider the immediate and sharp fall that’ll happen in a couple of minutes.

They’re not thinking about dinner. They’re thinking about how they can keep their lunch inside them to avoid embarrassment and the waste of money from an overpriced theme park meal.

That’s kind of where we are.
Click-click-click.

That happy better time she’s thinking of isn’t going to happen soon. It could take years before it becomes better and then more years before it’s back to where it was. But, in the mean time, we’ve got to manage our lunches, survive, and avoid destruction.

To do so, needs trumps wants.

Maybe the good doctor should go to Ukraine, stand in front of some corpses and destroyed houses. With hands raised high, she can preach how it will be better ‘soon.’ Pain doesn’t hold meaning. Hunger will be temporary. The dead are better off.

There * might * be a couple of people who would actually believe her. After all, she is a well-off blonde white woman from America.

Realists and intelligent people would know that she doesn’t have the power to make ‘things right.’ Her words aren’t God’s Law.

Then, after years or maybe generations of bloodshed, pain, and heartache, life might resume just a little for them. Years, hopes, and dreams of the people shattered. Then she would return and proclaim that she was right. See? Things did get better only if you try.

F*ck off doctor.

I’ll hang on to my ‘needs over wants.’

Although, it can be a little difficult.

In a previous post, I wrote about my whole bike problem. Crappy bike. Not worth fixing but I brought it in to be fixed anyway. Mom and Jason want to pay for it which I refused because it’s a ‘want’ not a ‘need.’

Well, I went into Target yesterday and they had several bikes for $165. This was 50% off. That was actually pretty tempting. All I would have had to do was wheel it to the check out. Then, in the paper, there was a white Giant bike for $200. That was tempting. I’ve kind of wanted a Giant bike from way back since Evul, an awesome Ingress player, had one. It’s just something that’s stuck in my mind for the past ten years. All I would have had to do is call to see if it was still available.

I don’t know about the Target bike, but I’m sure that the Giant one was composite and light – like the replacement bike I got in Florida when I was run over. I think there’s a world of difference between a bike made from heavy and light materials.

But, I did neither and have no intention investigating further.
It’s a want, not a need.

Isn’t defying temptation supposed to make one stronger? Well, I’m the strongest person around.