It’s been a while.
Too long.

I don’t have an excuse.
Just life, I suppose, but life shouldn’t be an excuse. Life should be celebrated.

But here I am. Maybe, I pray, I can get back on track or any type of track. I was doing so well there with writing – better than I had for a long time – but everything just changed last fall and I still feel like I’m picking up the pieces.

Things are better than before.
Jason is working although it is a bit shaky every once in a while. I’m fearful that he may lose the position through no fault of his own or, maybe because of his fault in a roundabout earbud way. When the supervisor says no music except… and the ‘except’ situation appears on the same day, it’s a bait and switch. The situation is a set up and there’s a mole somewhere.

Anyway… I’m in the clear work wise until next Monday. Then 202 classes await me, which is a bit different that the past year of level 100 classes. It’s okay.

Physically, I have two main things going on right now.

First and most notable has to be the gouge on my leg.
I jokingly blame this on Jason, but only half joking for some reason.
– We were at Menards in the mindset that we wanted to buy a dolly that turns into a cart. It would be exceedingly helpful moving around heavy boxes and items to the shed and make it so we wouldn’t bother the neighbors so much. At the store, he pushed it around a little and told me to try it. which I did. The part that folds down to become the cart wasn’t securely attached and fell on my leg between the knee and ankle.

It’s been increasingly bloody ever since although the throbbing has gone down a lot.

It was so bad at one point that mom all but forced me into the emergency room at the hospital. They just kind of shrugged and gave me some antibiotics, which I told her and Jason they would do. And that was really it.

Today, I see my primary care physician, Dr. P, and explain the situation to her.
I don’t think she has any magic dust for me but it’ll be nice to let her in. I’m hoping for some sort of shocked expression like the one I got when I showed Dr. S, the therapist. I doubt I’ll receive hardly any reaction from the medical doctor but, maybe, her assistant will be a little grossed out.

I stayed home all day yesterday in the belief that I would rest up and sit around all day with it propped by pillows. That didn’t happen. The day was used to clean some of the grittier places around the house and sitting was a secondary consideration. But, I was at the house for an entire day – cept when I went to the dump – but it’s the thought that counts.

If I hadn’t listened to Jason and pushed the dolly thing around, I wouldn’t have this gash. Oddly enough, that vampire dolly was the one we bought. The other one on the shelf didn’t work because of a bent frame.

If I mysteriously vanish or die, you know why. The dolly came back for the rest of my blood.

UPDATE:
Dr. P sent me to Wound Care.
They scooped out the dead skin and created a three by three-and-a-half-inch creator on my leg.
It’s super gross to look at and I need to change the bandage twice a day. I return to Wound Care every week for monitoring and have a new round of antibiotics to take.

My second issue is my heart.
Again, sourcing back to Dr. P, I was jumped many months ago with a heart test when I thought I was going in for a routine physical.
The test was normal, but only on the edge of normal. It prompted her to send me to a specialist. Through him, I was given a heart monitor to wear for two weeks.

From that, it was determined that my heart beats slowly — to slow — for adults.
I was referred to, eventually after much trouble, to a Dr. Kinn.

Dr, Kinn preformed a treadmill stress test. My heart didn’t reach the required beats per minute. Presumably, as from the nurse, that I start at a lower threshold than most. It is more difficult for me to reach the required beats per minute the doctor wants.

His solution is that I return on July 6 for a five hour stress test that involves being drugged. The drugs will be given to me until my heart reaches the required rate. Did I mention the nurse stated this takes four to five hours minimum? My body will think it’s exercising without moving.

I’m really not sure how this is going to pan out and am a bit apprehensive about being drugged.
But, there has to be something going on… right? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been referred twice and it’s better to know than not know… or I think it is.

If I did something to my heart five years ago when I was anorexic, it’s best to know now instead of when I’m post 50… right?
If I need a pacemaker or whatever, best now than later… right?

I don’t know.
Just not happy about the idea of having all this exercise energy for multiple hours and not being able to move because of the IV. It’s like my first iron infusion and it sucked.

But… yeah… I guess that’s how things are right now.