Prompt:
V-Day weekend.

Went to Olli’s and the boyfriend bought some Ollipops.
Amazing deal, by the way. $3.49 plus 15% off.
Typically, they’re about $8 per four.

Sure, they expire in a couple of months, but it’s cherry. He’ll drink them.

Felt a bit guilty and relieved that we didn’t run off to a mall. Although going to a mall that’s an hour away can be appealing, just to get out, I have a really hard time stomaching the cost, time sink, and just overall ‘why’ of it all.

Yes, people-watching can be fun, but there’s a local Jabba at the Nexas and various green-haired people. There’s no need to drop $40 on enriched spaghetti with Bubba Burger tiered meatballs and a salad that’s just leaves and suspeciouslly fake looking chicken.

Stayed caught up on work. (I’m an adjucnt.)
Tried very hard and failed at feeling numb about the unlimited AI slop that’s coming in this term.
I guess I care a little too much.
Or take some sort of satisfaction that they’re probably going to be unemployed by AI replacements way before they get their student loans paid off.
Also, this is happening to thousands of adjuncts and colleges everywhere. So, I’m not alone and can’t stop the enshitification.

This is when I’m kind of glad cancer took away my ability to have children.

Two weeks to go!
At least the AI stuff makes grading quick.
I reject anything I can prove was written by an AI, and that student will probably fail.
Since I’m an adjunct and students are ‘customers,’ a high rate of failure probably means I don’t have a job next term.

But if I can make it two more weeks, at least that’s a little more pay.

Reviewed next week’s personal schedule with a mix of concern, anxiety, and dread.
I have a lot of time alone next week, which I don’t mind. How I’m going to keep myself busy without anyone around already upsets me. Well, kind of upsets me. I think I did okay last week, but this week has fewer appointments. I don’t know.

Spent most of the night hours watching the boyfriend play Xenoblade Chronicles X on the Switch 2.
Continually poked holes into the plot. Like, how did the cats and dogs get there if they’re from Earth? Did they have their own pods?
If they carry diseases and viruses, wouldn’t the alien lifeforms be infected?

Why all the drama about ‘not dying’ when their consciousness would just be placed into another robot if the current body can’t be repaired?

I take things too literally sometimes.

Tried not to speculate about some of my behaviors and if they’re ‘odd’ or not – like pre-planning trips to the dump. Because of course I do.

I’m also have a growing concern about my fingers being numb. I don’t trust myself to know if it’s really an issue or something that I’m just making up in my head.

Despite it being Valentine’s Day, I didn’t want to be touched. That’s um… very upsetting… I don’t know why I felt that way. I need to think about it.

Think I did fairly well with handling dad’s birthday.
I didn’t cry or scream. Actually, I don’t think I’ve screamed in about a month or so. So… good.

Becoming aware of expenses.
I actually looked at the checking account, and it’s had a steady decline. The tax refund will perk it up a bit but I need to be more aware of it.

So… yeah. There’s more boring stuff – like how the reviews of Wuthering Heights were expected and a total no-go for me — but that’s the weekend in a nutshell.