after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

mental-health

  • Big Brain Thought – Disposal Pokemon

    I just finished a walk. The vac started to feel heavy and I was out for around half an hour. In case the Other stops by and we walk around, I wanted to take a break. I can also walk later, and if there are concerns that I’m moving too much, they could take away… Read more

  • Big Brain Thought – Devolution of Marriage

    Okay… This isn’t an old post. Rather, this is something that occurred to me while Mom was visiting. Loosely… Back in the 20s, marriage’s purpose was survival, children, alliance. It was in that order. Men and women united for surivial because what else was there? A core, if not THE, pillar of society was marriage… Read more

  • 10/22 — Countdown – 8

    While eight days from now isn’t my release, it’s the next step on this long and phone-shattering gravel road. I’ll probably be released three or four days after, pending fate. But I feel that the honeymoon between the staff and me has completely shifted. In a recent post, I created a type of list for… Read more

  • 10/21

    Another day, another Ensure. Well, not yet. Soon. It feels like there’s a bit of a gap between lunch – around 1 and dinner – around 6. So, I drink one after lunch and after dinner. This morning, Dr. Floyde (?) spoke to me. It was 630am and he was talking about some heavy stuff.… Read more

  • 10/20 Day… ? Five? Four?

    Day ? I think it’s Tuesday. Someone told me it is. Updates – It’s almost time to order lunch. No update on plastics. Don’t know that. I keep getting an ever-revolving staff picks, understandable. Checked in on my non-class class. Satisfying; my replacement is a WHOPPING 70 assignments behind. That’s 20 more than yesterday. —… Read more

  • 10/19

    Still here. I haven’t heard from plastics yet, but they’ve cleared me to walk the hall with assistance. I’ve completed three full laps – yay. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s crazy how much the little things matter. In hospitals, I’ve learned that it’s best to be thankful and not push to… Read more

  • 10/18

    Well, here I am. It got done. The piece that made me robotic – my spine – has been compromised. Well, more than that. It’s gone. I have one more date to add to my calendar – Oct 15. It’ll be added to the day Dad died, the day it went in, and now the… Read more

  • 10/3

    Well. I told Brats about my upcoming mutilation a couple of days ago. A spy was inserted. Someone not on the roster but in the class email was inserted. I guess that’ll be my replacement. I know it’s a couple weeks out still… well, 12 days really as of today… and wanted to give notice.… Read more

  • 9/20

    For a while there, I felt like I was starting to blog fairly regularly. It was at least a couple of times a week. I was thinking ahead and even have three or so posts pending from ideas that I wanted to feel out before going all in. I think I was enjoying it but… Read more

  • 8/13

    I’m a bit jaded today. Okay, a lot jaded. The meanness, stubbornness, and exceedingly critical review of – everything — including the stupid writing prompt from WordPress – is just a front for a deep well of emptiness. For desperation. I’m not exhausted – although I would prefer it. I crave the flatlined mind that’ll… Read more