Everyone,

You have astounded and amazed me in these few months.

Astounded me with your sheer arrogance and ignorance.

Amazed by your opportunistic privilege.

I suppose, in a way, I set myself up for this a bit.
I saw the AI writing in the smaller assignments early in the term. The discussion posts. The reflections.

Posts about how important face-to-face collaboration with peers appeared multiple times and how helpful it’s been.

In over twenty posts.
Same. Wording.
Same. Sentence structure.
And, the last I checked, we’re online. Face-to-face collaboration doesn’t happen. There isn’t a communal coffee shop that stretches multiple states. Just no. The student in Texas doesn’t drive to New York to meet a stranger over an espresso.

Irritants, sure, but the college is moving to be AI-first. I know that the syllabus for the class is being rewritten to be more AI-dependent. I was reprimanded a couple of terms ago for slapping down AI usage.

I don’t want to get in trouble. I want to stay employed, so I let it go and started to allow myself to slide down the slope.

AI slop is a lot easier to grade than human slop. At least the commas are in the right place – mostly.

But then comes Week Five.
Resources for the final paper need to be found. They’re supposed to be summarized and have application.

We’re inching closer to the final essay. AI is used. The URLs for topics – like police brutality – go to articles for nasel swelling. Supposed academic articles for foster care go to the Hubble Space Telescope.

I start pushing back.
Again, dear class, my fault. I allowed it to go on a bit. You’re pushing boundaries. I get it.

Then comes the rough draft.
———— This is where I think something cracked just a little inside.

Out of the twenty-seven, roughly half of you submitted AI-written essays. I didn’t need the detectors. It’s exceedingly obvious when they all have the same paragraph headers. Necessary sections that aren’t on the outline appear. The formatting of Word is the same.

So – strike one.
Then – strike two. Having a different AI write the paper doesn’t solve the problem.

That’s it.
You’re out. No more.
I warned the entire class multiple times.

But -then I get this appeal.
———- I won’t post all of it. Just the first couple of lines.

=================

Here is a polished, respectful, and compassionate version of your email that clearly explains your situation without oversharing, while still asking for leniency in a professional way:

Subject: Request to Resubmit Week 6 Second Submission

I am writing to ask if I may please resubmit my second submission for Week 6.

===================

The class struggles with simple assignments – discussions – reflections. It fails to find sources. It doesn’t understand a basic outline.

But, at the very least, I hoped that there was some sort of morality. Some small inkling of critical thinking.

But, like rats hitting the feeder bar, you couldn’t help yourself.

Or — you just really thought I’m just a complete idiot with little or no standards and would magically change my mind and accept your AI slop.

This amazed me.
You can’t even write an email asking for another go.

ChatGPT had to write it for you.

Easiest decision.

Just NOPE.
After two AI-written papers, did you really think an AI-written email would help? Were you just so lazy, or so confident, that you couldn’t remove the prompt?

Um….
What was amazing was that this wasn’t a unique situation. Two more AI pleas came in asking for another go.

And – to follow – what ASTOUNDED me is that, for the final – AI-written final essays were submitted with little to no alterations.

So – after a DRAFT of an “essay” was rejected twice, over fifteen people felt that turning in the FINAL would suddenly be worth a grade.

Amazing.
Astounded.

But, dear class, we part ways.
On Monday, the term ends.

A minute after midnight, I’ll be done with you.
Grades will be reported.
Your college loans will be collected.

Because of the way the class is structured, grade inflation, and me not wanting to be fired, several will pass. It may not be with the A you wanted, but you don’t deserve it.

OpenAI might deserve the grade, but you certainly don’t.

And – off you go.

Soon, AI chatbots will interview you.
Ghost jobs will abound.

I hope that someone in HR will get a laugh out of the obviously OpenAI-created cover letter and resume.

But the truth is, the world doesn’t need medical billers. The world doesn’t need a paralegal. Skill – critical thinking, writing, research – that could be used in other professions – is stunted or just a huge void in your brain.

AI is repulsive for some, but it’s easy to understand. Everyone praises Shakespeare but reads Dr. Seuss.

Your student debt is real.
Your lack of critical thinking is real.
Your dependence on AI is real.

What do you think your “career” will look like?

Know what?
I don’t care.