after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

eating disorder

  • 5/18

    Here I sit. I have a blood draw at one and it’s eleven. There’s nothing to do in class.  Well, there’s always something, but I’m not doing it right now. The house is quiet save for the clanking in the dryer. I’m actually kind of nervous about the blood draw. Okay.   I famously hate needles,… Read more

  • 5/13

    I’m in a unique situation. I’m the oldest of three siblings, who are all in their 40s, who still get along with each other.  I think that’s something my dad never dreamed possible when he is, in part, responsible for our unity. Sure, we think and say bad things about each other every now and… Read more

  • 5/9

    Well, after overstaying my welcome for a month and a week, I’m heading home tomorrow. That’s harsh. This is my house too, but it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. But, that’s okay.   Sometimes, Mom’s house doesn’t feel like I belong there either.   I’m loved at either place.    That’s more I can ask… Read more

  • 4/20 — part 2

    I am sooooo going for a walk tomorrow. Today has been horribly blah. Yeah, it’s been raining a bit, but it stopped.  I could have taken a walk this evening but didn’t for some reason.  I guess it’s okay to have a blah day every now and then. I didn’t clean out any closets or… Read more

  • 4/11

    Well, at least this pandemic has done one thing that I didn’t think would happen for a really long time. —  After some nudging, Jason pre-ordered the Final Fantasy 7 remake. It was delivered on Friday and he started playing that same day. There’s something special about playing a game knowing that there aren’t any… Read more

  • 4/9

    I’m trying to become more accepting of the entire virus situation. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not forever. The world is just a little crazy right now, but things will even out soon. Exactly when soon (TM) is, no one knows.   A week?  A month?  Next year? But, life moves on.… Read more

  • 2/18

    No lie. It’s been a rough couple of days. I know how became rough. Yesterday, I couldn’t stomach pizza and got sick in the evening. Rewind.   It started with a mass headache on 2/17.   It was so bad that I literally couldn’t think and could barely see.    But, I am who I am so… Read more

  • 2/15

    I can’t help thinking about the past. There was a time when I refused and couldn’t go anywhere because of all the classwork I had to endure.    I put so much pressure on myself that I permanently altered my psychological and physical state. Now, Jason is plowing through some sort of coding assignment and… Read more

  • 2/14

    Well, I’m off to a great start. It’s almost one and I just woke from a three-hour nap.  What’s up with that? I knew I was getting worn out a bit, but just blanking out for multiple hours isn’t my style.   It’s not it was a straight multi-hour nap. I woke up a couple of… Read more

  • 2/7

    I stayed at home today. It was supposed to rain or I thought it was going to rain and it didn’t. I could have gone to the gym but just didn’t for some reason.  Not too sure why.  I’m sure I’d felt better about the pizza tonight if I did. Instead, I did some yard… Read more