after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

freewriting

  • Big brain thought: Marriage.

    At one point and maybe even traditionally, marriage was seen as a social and legally binding contract. Two people, man and woman, unite via kills with the understood obligation of creating a conjoined unit for the purpose of companionship and to, ultimately, raise children. Marriage grants political, social, and economic rights and… hopefully,,, stability. It Read more

  • 8/8

    The anxiety is starting to creep back in. Over the past couple of weeks… maybe even a month… I’ve been managing it well. It’s almost been a golden month. I think I’ve had a better attitude. I’m still struggling with sleeping. But it’s getting better. I’ve been making it a point to eat a lot Read more

  • 7/31

    I’ve been trying really hard to be good. The euphoria from earlier this week has all btu evaporated. It dipped severely on Tuesday. Came back and evened out a bit on Wednesday with the little sister. Today, I’m fighting to stay in even. I don’t want to be depressed but not so high that I’ll Read more

  • 7/28

    Today is kind of strange. I’ve eaten a lot. Specifically, I’ve eaten a lot of proteinGreek yogurt. An entire tub of cottage cheese. Egg white wraps. High protein Ensure. I have a grilled chicken salad and an additional chicken breast on deck for dinner in addition to a potential Fairlife should Jason want it. So,,, Read more

  • 7/27

    Here we go again. Another Sunday. Another day of just barely keeping a cap on the crazy. The crazy being the anxiety. The depression. The screaming. The wild emotions that linger just under the surface of my skin and behind my eyes. It could be worse. I could be playing the panic flute about the Read more

  • Baby Suppression

    It has occurred to be that the lower to nil birth rate is intentional. A lot of it can be traced back to the World Economic Forum and social trends. It’s intentional reproductive suppression. Just spit balling here: * Sterilization and birth defects through vaccinations. * With the rise of the gig economy, maternity leave Read more

  • 7/19

    Jason is sleeping and, try as I might, I can’t stay down. When he’s at home, I try to wake at the same time he does. It’s a challenge since it’s difficult to sleep and, once my brain switches on, I begin to structure my day, what I want to do, should do, need to Read more

  • The New Four Horsemen: Big Data, AI, 3D Printing, and Robotics

    There are Four Horsemen, right? DeathConquestFamineWar. Pale HorseRed HorseBlack HorseWhite Horse These are mentioned, I think, in the Old Testament and are supposed to be indicators of the End of Times and the Second Coming. After some thought, I think I’ve identified the up-to-date version of the Four Horsemen. . big data3d printingairobotics I’m kind Read more

  • 7/3

    Yesterday…. yesterday was a bit rough. I took it on myself to fight my fear and mow the yard. Yes, I know how silly that sounds… mowing the yard. But it’s more than just moving. It’s the strength to start the mower, not freaking out when it stalls, and just doing it. Just the action Read more

  • 6/30

    Today is kind of odd. No appointments other than lunch with the little sister. Spent most of the morning cleaning house. I’m between classes. The new one starts on Wednesday. I didn’t have much to do and felt the need to do some deep cleaning. When I returned from lunch, it was about three or Read more