after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

freewriting

  • 3/16

    I just did something potentially crazy…. There was a Fat Con in Seattle early February. Out of morbid curiosity, I skimmed it, particularly the ticket prices and what was included. $1200 for VIP + Plus $600 for VIPAnd a couple of hundred for two days and about a hundred for a single day. It’s been… Read more

  • 3/5

    um….. My foot hurts. It hurts a lot. Me, someone who has lived with some sort of physical pain for the past forty or so years, have learned to ignore it, departmentalize pain, and accept it. It’s more of a constant companion than a bother. It reminds me that I’m alive, providing I acknowledge its… Read more

  • 12/27

    Now that Christmas as steamed rolled by, everything will start to become ‘normal.’ I’m not looking forward to normal. Normal often leads me to dark spaces in my mind, anxiety, becoming upset, desperate, and a very unhappy me. I I fear that I will become unstable. Not that I’m stable now… but just having people… Read more

  • 12/25

    Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. After years of those short but important phrases being all but taboo, it’s nice that they’re back. Or, at least, back until the next wave of societal flux into something else that’s basically unrecognizable and scary. I feel like I should be cleaning the house right now. Well, it’s not really… Read more

  • 12/8

    I had a rather awkward conversation with Dr. Hill. He’s the house doctor, whatever that is. I guess he’s a big boy around here at St. Francis. ….. Well, long story short…. I finally saw a neurologist for my back. I was so bad that I was admitted to St. Francis on the same day… Read more

  • 12/4

    Well, I got one of my wishes. Sort of. I’ll be busy until next Monday or so. Well, I don’t know if sitting around in a hospital qualifies as busy. But, given my previous hospital stays, I feel uncomfortable for a couple of days, level out, and then sort of enjoy it. So… I think… Read more

  • Balancing Health Priorities: A Personal Journey

    Well, I’m kind of at a loss on what to do with my day now. I had my online appointment with Centerstone Allison. Reached out to the wound care center for clarification about how often the packing should be changed in my spine, and rescheduled Dr. P’s appointment as it conflicted with a lung appointment.… Read more

  • 10/1

    Well…. I’ve got the infamous gamma radiation running in my body for the next four to six hours and another hospital bracelet to add to my collection. I think I’m up to at least three or four now. I would have more if I would have kept the psyche ward and St. Francis from earlier… Read more

  • 9/30

    I’d be lying and not lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive about tomorrow. Tomorrow is the PT scan to determine if I possibly have lung cancer. I’m fortunate that my little sister fought for my insurance to resume. I’m blessed that my mom will be taking me as I’m not 100% sure what type… Read more

  • 9/24

    Well…. we talked about it yesterday. Jason and me. We were distressed that Sneezles was distressed. We were upset that he was upset. We were suffering because he was suffering. At 3:15 am, some of that was resolved. Sneezles’s body finally gave out. Jason was with him till the end. He brushed, petted, watched, and… Read more