after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

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  • 11/6 –

    Today has been difficult. I guess it’s to be expected. I’ve had a couple of precious months where I almost felt stable. Good, bad, or ugly, I didn’t break down. Last night I started to feel mentally wobbly and almost lost it over trash of all things. This morning, I started out okay, but I… Read more

  • 9/24 Truth to Power

    I hate catch phrases that relate to excuses. “This is the way it has to be” for example. No, that’s not the way it has to be, That’s a lazy man’s excuse. “It is what it is” is another bs line. Nothing is what it is. It’s what we perceive it to be, not what… Read more

  • 9/11

    It’s disheartening. Over the past couple of days, America has some rapid fire situations. I use the word situations loosely as I’m not sure how to describe them. First, there was the delayed story of the Ukranian refugee, Iryna Zarutska. The violence occurred on August 22 but wasn’t widely reported on until last week, nearly… Read more

  • 9/3

    I’m between classes right now. Despite not having a paycheck coming in, I’m feeling rather relieved. The last couple of weeks of the semester were a bit of a wreck for me. I was fairly paranoid since it was such a large class – about thirty students. That’s about eight to ten more students than… Read more

  • 8/28

    Do you remember Gauntlet? It was a four-person game back in the mid 80s and 90s. Plug a quarter in and you could play as a quick but weak elf, mid-skilled Valkyrie, slow warrior or even slower wizard. I’d hope and pray for reflective shot and, I think, at one point there was a way… Read more

  • Big brain thought: Marriage.

    At one point and maybe even traditionally, marriage was seen as a social and legally binding contract. Two people, man and woman, unite via kills with the understood obligation of creating a conjoined unit for the purpose of companionship and to, ultimately, raise children. Marriage grants political, social, and economic rights and… hopefully,,, stability. It… Read more

  • 8/8

    The anxiety is starting to creep back in. Over the past couple of weeks… maybe even a month… I’ve been managing it well. It’s almost been a golden month. I think I’ve had a better attitude. I’m still struggling with sleeping. But it’s getting better. I’ve been making it a point to eat a lot… Read more

  • Baby Suppression

    It has occurred to be that the lower to nil birth rate is intentional. A lot of it can be traced back to the World Economic Forum and social trends. It’s intentional reproductive suppression. Just spit balling here: * Sterilization and birth defects through vaccinations. * With the rise of the gig economy, maternity leave… Read more

  • 7/21

    Today… today is kind of a strange day. Typically, little sister and I would be out and about. If this was June, Jason would be here and the day would just happen. But, Jason and little sister had to work. I don’t have any appointments and had the day to myself. So, I slept in… Read more

  • 7/19

    Jason is sleeping and, try as I might, I can’t stay down. When he’s at home, I try to wake at the same time he does. It’s a challenge since it’s difficult to sleep and, once my brain switches on, I begin to structure my day, what I want to do, should do, need to… Read more