after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

anorexic

  • 2/8

    I don’t know if I’m cold or hot. When I wake up or just do something around the house, I feel like I’m freezing and resist the urge to play with the thermostat. Of course, I cave because the hands feel like blocks of ice and I start shivering. On comes the heat and within Read more

  • 12/27

    Now that Christmas as steamed rolled by, everything will start to become ‘normal.’ I’m not looking forward to normal. Normal often leads me to dark spaces in my mind, anxiety, becoming upset, desperate, and a very unhappy me. I I fear that I will become unstable. Not that I’m stable now… but just having people Read more

  • 12/25

    Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. After years of those short but important phrases being all but taboo, it’s nice that they’re back. Or, at least, back until the next wave of societal flux into something else that’s basically unrecognizable and scary. I feel like I should be cleaning the house right now. Well, it’s not really Read more

  • 12/4

    Well, I got one of my wishes. Sort of. I’ll be busy until next Monday or so. Well, I don’t know if sitting around in a hospital qualifies as busy. But, given my previous hospital stays, I feel uncomfortable for a couple of days, level out, and then sort of enjoy it. So… I think Read more

  • 10/17

    Well, I guess I have some happy news to report. It’s not really ‘happy,; I guess but I’m happy with it. Although, being me, I wish would happen more quickly than what’s scheduled. —- I got to be patient. My beautiful mother accompanied me to the lung doctor today. And I’m scheduled for my first Read more

  • Balancing Health Priorities: A Personal Journey

    Well, I’m kind of at a loss on what to do with my day now. I had my online appointment with Centerstone Allison. Reached out to the wound care center for clarification about how often the packing should be changed in my spine, and rescheduled Dr. P’s appointment as it conflicted with a lung appointment. Read more

  • 10/1

    Well…. I’ve got the infamous gamma radiation running in my body for the next four to six hours and another hospital bracelet to add to my collection. I think I’m up to at least three or four now. I would have more if I would have kept the psyche ward and St. Francis from earlier Read more

  • 9/30

    I’d be lying and not lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive about tomorrow. Tomorrow is the PT scan to determine if I possibly have lung cancer. I’m fortunate that my little sister fought for my insurance to resume. I’m blessed that my mom will be taking me as I’m not 100% sure what type Read more

  • 9/23

    ….. Sneezles (the cat) hasn’t eaten anything in nearly a week. Or, at least about a week. He barely moves. Barely drinks. I think he mews when he doesn’t see anyone for a while or just when he has strength to do so. Quite clearly, he won’t be around for much longer. And there’s nothing Read more

  • 9/7

    I’m kind of surprised that I’m doing as well as I am. The fluctuation in temperature from warm to cold has left me extremely stiff. My back is starting to bleed from the wound again. My joints ache. Of course, there’s the ongoing struggle to sleep and the change of thyroid medicine has left me Read more