after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

freewriting

  • 10/1

    Well…. I’ve got the infamous gamma radiation running in my body for the next four to six hours and another hospital bracelet to add to my collection. I think I’m up to at least three or four now. I would have more if I would have kept the psyche ward and St. Francis from earlier Read more

  • 9/30

    I’d be lying and not lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive about tomorrow. Tomorrow is the PT scan to determine if I possibly have lung cancer. I’m fortunate that my little sister fought for my insurance to resume. I’m blessed that my mom will be taking me as I’m not 100% sure what type Read more

  • “Am I Racist?” Quick Review

    Jason actually wanted to see a movie. Normally, I want to go and he doesn’t. So, we don’t. But he wanted to see this one and I was curious and we did. I’m glad we did. There are bloggers and reviews that will point out how controversial, good, had, or honest it is. I’m not Read more

  • 9/23

    ….. Sneezles (the cat) hasn’t eaten anything in nearly a week. Or, at least about a week. He barely moves. Barely drinks. I think he mews when he doesn’t see anyone for a while or just when he has strength to do so. Quite clearly, he won’t be around for much longer. And there’s nothing Read more

  • 9/7

    I’m kind of surprised that I’m doing as well as I am. The fluctuation in temperature from warm to cold has left me extremely stiff. My back is starting to bleed from the wound again. My joints ache. Of course, there’s the ongoing struggle to sleep and the change of thyroid medicine has left me Read more

  • 9/3

    Jason is in Indy until Thursday evening. The state is having its annual get together where they all get drunk… I guess. They network and go to random seminars and whatnot on the tax payer dime. I think it’s good. It’s good for him to get out, although I wish he would have remembered to Read more

  • 8/30

    Well, off he goes. Jason went to take part two of the Certified Accounting Test. I feel that I have to spell it out because if people thought he was testing for the CIA it would be insulting. I’m at the house today. There’s no real reason to go out save for dinner. But I Read more

  • 8/28

    I have so many thoughts going through my head that I’m crazy. But this is a different type of crazy from the usual crazy. I guess it’s a more controlled crazy. It’s a more realized and manageable one since…. finally… I got my brain tumor and some answers. I don’t remember if I wrote in Read more

  • 8/22

    A couple of days ago, I felt almost broken. Not fully broken mentally or physically. Just severely cracked. I think I was feeling kind of peaceful. Kind of accepting. There wasn’t a reason to struggle or fret. I certainly wasn’t in the ‘everything will be okay’ camp but was just tired. It takes a lot Read more

  • 8/18

    Today…. today, I’m trying not to be as stressed out as I’ve been all week. I’m trying to keep the insanity, panic, and anxiety to a minimum. I’m trying not to feel guilty, unloved, or upset. Rationally, I know there isn’t a need for any of those emotion. They don’t apply. There’s a lot of Read more