after thoughts

Don't live the American dream. Live your dream.

freewriting

  • 12/27

    Now that Christmas as steamed rolled by, everything will start to become ‘normal.’ I’m not looking forward to normal. Normal often leads me to dark spaces in my mind, anxiety, becoming upset, desperate, and a very unhappy me. I I fear that I will become unstable. Not that I’m stable now… but just having people… Read more

  • 12/25

    Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. After years of those short but important phrases being all but taboo, it’s nice that they’re back. Or, at least, back until the next wave of societal flux into something else that’s basically unrecognizable and scary. I feel like I should be cleaning the house right now. Well, it’s not really… Read more

  • 12/4

    Well, I got one of my wishes. Sort of. I’ll be busy until next Monday or so. Well, I don’t know if sitting around in a hospital qualifies as busy. But, given my previous hospital stays, I feel uncomfortable for a couple of days, level out, and then sort of enjoy it. So… I think… Read more

  • 11/21

    I guess I’m a little slow on the update, but I think mowing season is over. It’s snowing this evening and it’s mostly sticking. When I checked the mail, I tracked in some wet footprints. The furnace keeps kicking on. My bones, muscles, and body aches. The upper back and front are exceedingly tight. Yep.… Read more

  • 11/13

    Does anyone else feel that this is America’s underlying song since Trump won? Well, maybe not every American but enough to encapsulate the majority feeling and cultural unrest. Not cultural unease. There’s been too many historic waves of terror over the pas thirty years, even this year alone, to make us feel at ease. But,… Read more

  • 10/17

    Well, I guess I have some happy news to report. It’s not really ‘happy,; I guess but I’m happy with it. Although, being me, I wish would happen more quickly than what’s scheduled. —- I got to be patient. My beautiful mother accompanied me to the lung doctor today. And I’m scheduled for my first… Read more

  • Balancing Health Priorities: A Personal Journey

    Well, I’m kind of at a loss on what to do with my day now. I had my online appointment with Centerstone Allison. Reached out to the wound care center for clarification about how often the packing should be changed in my spine, and rescheduled Dr. P’s appointment as it conflicted with a lung appointment.… Read more

  • 10/1

    Well…. I’ve got the infamous gamma radiation running in my body for the next four to six hours and another hospital bracelet to add to my collection. I think I’m up to at least three or four now. I would have more if I would have kept the psyche ward and St. Francis from earlier… Read more

  • 9/30

    I’d be lying and not lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive about tomorrow. Tomorrow is the PT scan to determine if I possibly have lung cancer. I’m fortunate that my little sister fought for my insurance to resume. I’m blessed that my mom will be taking me as I’m not 100% sure what type… Read more

  • “Am I Racist?” Quick Review

    Jason actually wanted to see a movie. Normally, I want to go and he doesn’t. So, we don’t. But he wanted to see this one and I was curious and we did. I’m glad we did. There are bloggers and reviews that will point out how controversial, good, had, or honest it is. I’m not… Read more