Phone conversations are not my favorite.  Texting, writing, e-mails – sure.  I can write thoughts and feelings down, edit for clarity, and feel completely embarrassed that there are words I still cannot spell – but Spell Check can.

Speaking is an uncouth cousin by comparison.  Once a word is said, it’s cannot be undone.  It could be covered in barbs – unintentionally.  There’s no chance for re-call – and apologizes only go so far.  Hearing someone say “I love you” can be wonderful – but can be said to many, with little or no thought,  be questioned, and be compromised by body language, accents, and people who simply don’t pay attention.

Don’t believe me?  Ever have an order wrong from Arbies, Wendy’s, or someplace like that?  You could say “no pickle” four times but, low-and-behold, there happened to be a pickle or – in some cases – double pickle.  If the order is written down or, in some cases, ordered online, the chance of the order being incorrect is lessened – i.e. not as misunderstood.

Written communication is more effective – and a convenient method for people like me – who are a bit phone-a-phobic.  It was rather natural to text the boyfriend about the disappearing iron, the infusions, and the tests.  Emojis where used to add emphasis on my worry, stress, ad disappointment.

I half expected the boyfriend to call anyway, to return sympathy/supportive/understanding messages back.  You know – just to acknowledge my situation and lie to me —  tell me it’ll be “okay.”  Reassure me that, no matter what, he’ll be there for support.

———–  That didn’t happen.  Rather, he disclosed how crappy his day was between his part-time job, classes, content, and professors.

Well – sure – I was upset.  That was not the response I was expecting or even hoping for —  I wanted the communication to be about me and me only – at least for a couple of minutes – and that didn’t happen.

But you know, I let it go.  It doesn’t always have to be about me and he has a lot of pressure as well.  I’m (fairly) certain that he did not mean to dismiss my feelings, but was just sharing what was happening to him – as I was.

I didn’t become angry, frustrated, or upset.  Rather, I just texted “Seems everything is on track!  we’re both hot messes.”

So, from the quote, if I’m mad and he’s bonkers – we’re really meant to be together… right?