While I’ve been in my semi-catatonic stage, I have spent many hours curled on the bed around the Samsung watching the Walking Dead on Netflix.

Yeah, I know it’s a wildly popular show, yadda.. yadda.. yadda…. but this is my first time watching it.  I’m sure I have a backlog of things to watch from the Anorexic Years and, given my current state of mind, watching heads being popped open like ripe melons seems to fit.

So, here are a few very loose observations.

–  Women who wear over a size 4 pants and guys who wear over a size 34 are destined to die.  Lori, Carroll, Glen, Rick…. not a one of them looks like they ate a Wendy’s Baconator.
Exceptions:
*    If the profession is medical, it’s okay.   Doctors still die, but it won’t be for several seasons.     I’m talking about Hershel.
*  If the actor is playing a lesbian, she is safe.   Well, at least safe until Season Eight.    I’m in the middle of that now.   I’m not sure if she’ll make it to Nine, but the gut says yes since she’s a representation.

– Rick can really grow a beard.   None of the other guys come close.

–  In the absence of order, people create order.
———   I already knew this, but there’s all kinds of order.  Like Terminis – They ate people.   The show probably could have gone into a bit more depth about that place since they spent forever walking there.    The Kingdom is probably the most stable of them all and is full of larpers.    That’s pretty awesome.

–  I should really learn how to whistle, shoot a crossbow, and ride a motorcycle.

–  Do not become attached to large animals like tigers and horses.   It does not end well.

–  A fire truck has limited water, but a half full gas tanker will go on forever.

–  Stock up on canned goods, batteries, bottled water, and toilet paper.

–  It helps to have charisma.  People are willing to die for you if you do.

–  Consider going vegan.

–  Don’t let anyone know how strong you truly are outside your friends.

–  Call as you see them.   If it walks, moans, and munches on people like a zombie, it’s a zombie.    It is not someone who’s sick, will come back, or just playing.

–  Head shots are best.

–  Eye patches are kind of cool.

– Don’t be a jack ass.

–  I bet that show was fun to film.  I could see a lot of opportunity for the cast to play in the story.

I’m really kind of amazed how the whole show reminds me of a Shakespeare drama.  I really wasn’t expecting that level of story in something that is insanely popular.  I have the misconception that most highly regarded shows follow a formula.   Bones and Charmed are great examples of these.

Okay, okay…  all stories follow certain patterns – thank you Mr. Vonnegut.  But, the Walking Dead is actually pretty good if I can overlook most of the Negan thing, but it serves it’s purpose.

Anyways… I got some grading to do, take a shower, and curl into a little ball mindlessly watching the mindless lose their gore on the camera lens.