Happy New Year!
I sincerely hope everyone and yours survived last night.
The cat has come out of hiding, which is good.  Everything seems to be going forward, as it should.

These are the days when we should reflect and think of how we can better ourselves and our community through resolutions – promises to ourselves that this year will be different than the last.  To lose weight – To be kind – To be patient – To help – To perform charity work – Basically, just to be but be better.

And, ultimately, we pretty much break or forget the resolutions by March.  People are creatures of habit.   Once we establish a pattern, we tend to feel uncomfortable deviating from it, even if it is personally harmful.  We also defend patterns even if they’re ridiculous.  This would like thinking the holocaust didn’t happen or the earth is flat.

Actually, I’m half watching a video about flat earth.
If you’re curious, it’s here:

Anyway…  new year, some old stuff.

The new year marks the end of the boy’s and my “normalish” time.   He goes back to work tomorrow and, about a week after, he starts his accounting classes and tutoring.  I will be left increasingly alone – which is okay.

I’ve got some Groupons from my sister to use and have an Uber account.  Okay, it’s my sister’s Uber account, but she’s letting me use it while I’m here.

So, the first week of 2019 will flow something like this –
–  Monday – Last day with the boy
If he doesn’t get up soon, I’m going to do some yard work.

– Tuesday – Probably going to the gym.   Might watch Bird Box while on the stair stepper.   There has to be some reason why it’s received crazy attention.

–  Wednesday – waiting on the air conditioner guy.
It’s like nearly eighty degrees here — which is awesome, but slightly less awesome when everything is sticky and you can hear neighbors talking through the open windows.

–  Thursday and Friday – no idea.   I think my class starts up somewhere in there.  Probably gym again.    I might go on an adventure to see if I can figure out the bus system to go to Treasure Island or John’s Pass.

So, essentially, the only thing that defines last year from this year is a number.  Everything just flows despite the arbitrary dates society assigns to a calendar to promote newness.

Out with the old.  In with the new.

Sounds like a marketing gimmick.
What’s wrong with the old?   People tend to have the same children and spouses for years.  Every year, should people just get a new family, career, and home?

Anyway –  I guess I have some resolutions.

1 -I am going to lose weight, but not the eating disorder/anorexia way.
The hardest part is not letting family or doctors discourage me from doing so.

2 – Write more

3 – Realize that I’m over 40 and should take some chances.   Enjoy myself more.   Allow myself to be myself, should I figure out who myself is.

4 – I would say try not to see the world so cynical, but I know that I can’t keep that resolution because I’m a sullen and fairly disillusioned person.

5 – To keep muddling through.  – Don’t let the cancer check-ups become dark days.  Don’t let the anniversary of when a loved one died weigh me down.

Okay, so, I’ll probably have all of these broken by March – just like everyone else, but I’ll give it a shot.    The first big test is when I return to Indiana and see one cancer doctor followed by the breast cancer doctor.   They’re about a week apart.

So  —  Yeah.
One of the reasons why my primary home is in Indiana and the boy is in Florida.  Health insurance isn’t cheap.

At some point, I should write about how the boy and I met.  Or, rather, what I can remember from it.   When I write these blogs, my experiences at the House and medical issues easily rise to the surface of my thoughts.  I need to remember that my life is more than just that – failures.

Anyways, what are your resolutions?

Wish you the best and brightest 2019.