Today feels like it’s going to be lazy.

At one point, I thought that was a curse…  a day without running around in some form of panic and anxiety.  But, I’ve become pretty cool with it as long as it doesn’t happen too often.

Actually, I’m feeling fairly tired again.
I might take a nap.
It’s kind of odd.   When I first got here, I didn’t have these drowsy spells like I did in Indiana.  For the past three or four days, they’ve come back.    Is that a good thing – that I’m winding down here where I don’t subconsciously feel that I have to be awake for everything or is that really kind of a sign of depression and I don’t want to deal with anything.

Either or, I suppose.   Hopefully, it’s the former and not the latter.

Today.. today is primarily homework day for Jason.   All of my school work is currently caught up, so I might walk to the store at some point and wait for him to pick me up.   At some point, we need to crawl out to get some groceries.

Yesterday was actually pretty busy.
I woke and did homework, of course.   Grading waits for no woman.   We went to the flea market to see his grandmom and aunt.    Grandmom was under the weather, so we didn’t stay long.   Then, it was an hour and a half drive to see Jason’s baby bro, his two kids, and his wife.

We did that last weekend and again this weekend.   I really bet the baby bro was surprised.  – In a good way.  As a perk, the two girls didn’t really tear Jason apart.  They were prominent in the visit but didn’t try to tickle him, untie his shoes, ride on his back.. and other roughhousing stuff.    That can be fun when there are two cute girls under five attacking, but it gets old eventually.  Jason isn’t as young as he used to be either.    If he pulls a muscle, I tend to hear about it days afterward.

Which is okay.   I just find it amusing for some reason.

When I’m gone, I hope he continues to visit his grandmom and brothers when he can.   I think it really helps and can give him something to look forward too  — not that the cat isn’t enough.

Of course, coming home in the evenings and being a semi-slave to a cat’s whims is very important.  But, sometimes, direct human connection is important.

What’s kind of odd is that I’m down to 12 days left. That’s the rest of this week, the weekend, and next week until Saturday.    Then, back to Indiana which has been having jolly winter weather warnings every once in a while.

I half thought that the government shut down and the TSA having sick-ins might delay my return.  Probably not, but there might be a chance.

This is so messed up.

I was anxious and unsure of myself coming here and now I want to stay longer.
I think there’s a lot of good thing going on here and Jason has changed – for the better.  He seems to be more attentive, less dismissive, and considerate.   I don’t have to nag as much as what I usually do to get him to do things.   It’s just amazing.

It’s more like a partner than a child or a pompous ass.   It’s just nice and I feel more comfortable with him this trip than I have in a long time.  For some reason, I contribute this change of attitude to his jobs.   As a tutor, he has to lead others, understand their difficulties, and improve them.  As an IRS agent, he can’t be a pushover and his boss doesn’t give him any slack.    I know it’s a pain and tiring, but I think the push me/pull you is good for him.

I just can’t get the two halves of my life united.  Family and health on one side.   Relationship and independence on the other.  I think I need all four to avoid descending back down into my private hell.

I don’t know.
I’m just tired.

Okay… this week.
Monday – happy lazy MLK day.
Tuesday – probably the gym.   Hopefully, my legs won’t be so spongy.
Wednesday – Walk to somewhere and USF.
Thursday – depending on the weather gym or walk.
Friday, see Thursday.
Saturday….  I think we’re going to Bok Tower.   It’s a place I’ve been wanting to visit for years.  Bought tickets.  Definitely going.
Sunday… ?