It’s so easy to fall off the wagon.

I need to hop back on that thing. Maybe it was just the holidays or whatever. Jason has had a day off here and there which kind of threw me off. Mostly, it’s depression. I’ve felt fairly helpless for the past couple of weeks.

It doesn’t help that hurt my side. I was doing something in the yard and pulled a muscle in my rib area. It kind of hurts to breathe a little. I can’t take a deep breath without a bit of pain. It hurts a little to twist and reach up.

For some reason, I’ve had more body aches and ouchies from external problems… like being hit by a car and falling off a bike… bitten by a dog… this year than I have in a long time.

But, I’ve got to take action. My default setting isn’t sitting. I refuse that.

So, I’ve contacted a painter. Jason wants the ceiling painted – which it needs. The whole house needs painting and then some. From the painter, he wants $2000 for the interior, $3100 for the exterior, and $1100 for the ceiling. That’s with material and labor.

I think that the exterior is high. Years ago, I had the exterior quoted and he wanted $1000 for the exterior. Yes, that didn’t count paint. But, I doubt paint is over $2000 even with the current economy. I’m holding off on that. The interior. I’m kind of yeah…. Jason chose some awful colors to paint over. They’re pretty intense colors and would take extra effort and paint. I can see the cost in that.

What’s holding me back on that is that I’m fooling myself into thinking that I can paint the walls myself. I’m kind of shying away from that because of my back and that I’ve pulled that rib muscle. It does bother me that Jason probably wouldn’t help. Rather, he hasn’t given any indication that he would despite me talking about it. That’s frustrating but I guess we have different priorities.

Well, we have the same priorities, to a degree. They’re just a different order.
He is paying the mortgage, car, and utilities by himself. I make less than 500 a month through adjuncting. By getting the ceiling painted, I’m devoting over two months’ worth of paychecks towards what’s feeling like a Christmas gift.

But, if I had to pay rent to stay here, it’d easily be over $1100 and I don’t think that this is something that he’d do by himself. When it comes to the household, he tends to complain but not take action until it’s obviously evident that something needed repair. The roof is a great example. Part of the damage to the ceiling is from the leaky roof. There’s odd paint peeling here and there.

Anyway, I get to go to the gym now.
Wish me luck that I don’t pull my rib further.