I need to calm down.

I’m not sure why but I’m buzzing with energy. I feel tingly like there are ants just underneath my skin. They’re running up my nerves to my throat and making it tight.

It was a good day. I drove the truck and it wasn’t difficult. I dumped the trash and went to Wal-Mart. I walked around the fairgrounds for a while.

It was a good day. This is far more than what I could do just a couple of weeks ago. My strength is slowly returning. I think and hope so.

But I’m buzzing.
The cab is coming tomorrow at five. They called and confirmed. I still don’t know why it’d take two hours to go up there, but I’ll see. I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Still, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to sleep in my current state. The boyfriend gave me some ashtanga to calm down but I’m not sure if it’s working.

Sleep aids tend not to work. Body and brain are against being calm I guess. It doesn’t help that I’m feeling really hungry despite the cantaloupe snack and egg white/ham wrap I had earlier. It’s nearly nine. Getting to be too late to eat, specially if I’m going to bed in an hour or two.

Pre-made protein drink acquired. It’s going to go into my gullet. I’m going to shower. Still attempting to calm down. And… eventually and hopefully sleep.

Got to be up and ready by at least four, I guess, for the five o’clock ride. But why…? Google says it’ll only take an hour. If I’m there at six, what am I going to do for an hour and a half? Be mugged? Shot?

I don’t have to be there until 7:30. Dam.

I hope the driver has other riders to pick up to sponge up some of this time. I just don’t understand.

…
……..

I need to CALM DOWN.