Jason has finished Final Fantasy Rebirth… or Remake. Whatever the second one is. He didn’t max out everything but spent over 100 hours of playtime on it.

He or whoever bought the game for him certainly got their money’s worth. Jason has moved on to Hades 2. While it’s not officially released, the game was sold at half cost on Steam. It’s a rather clever marketing ploy. This is one of the more anticipated games of the year. The half off price tag generates excitement and pre-sales while the players provide ample information to find bugs and errors. It’s like a play-test that people are willing to do and pay for. Can’t really beat that, honestly.

I suspect that it helps to build a player-friendly reputation as well.

I actually started to play Hades 2 a little before Jason jumped in. I died a lot but was starting to get into the swing of the controls. I started to enjoy myself too – which hasn’t happened in a long time when it comes to a game. I tend to be a conservative player when it comes to supplies, crafting, and points. I reel everything out slowly which increases the difficulty.

But Jason isn’t quite like that and, now that I’m watching him, I have little desire to continue to play it myself. I’m certain I won’t, actually. There’s no need and I’m sure that I’d just undercut myself. I’ll set myself up for failure and won’t even try as I’ve seen some of the more difficult boss fights.

But that’s okay. It’s his game, after all.

I am and am not done with the Center. Last week, I was supposed to join a Zoom meeting for RO DBT. — RO means ‘radical openness.’ In my head, I think of it as restrictive openness. It seems like a lot of BS to me but, according to the behavioral theory, I would conveniently fit in as it is supposed to be for perfectionists.

I am not and shall never be a perfectionist and have told the head shrinks as much – multiple times. But maybe that’s where my perfection lies. In not being a perfectionist.

I think I had a good excuse for not joining. I started mowing the grass around one and didn’t finish until around six because I broke multiple mowers. I couldn’t get mine started. Got mom’s mower and stretched out some cord which made it exceedingly hard to push.

Some guy came out — Josh? Joh?… and fixed my mower. But I couldn’t get it started after he left – which caused all sorts of conflicting self-doubts and worries. I didn’t know if the mower was still broken or that I was too weak to start it.

Given that Jon and, later, Jason could start the mower, I’m inclined to believe that I was just tired… weak… that I couldn’t do it myself. Which is something that I refuse to contemplate.

Surely, it was the mower. I am not weak.

As an encore, I moved the fridge, stove, and freezer to clean underneath them the next day. It was difficult and I popped the heck out of my toes when working on the fridge, but I was able to do it. I only felt slightly disgusted with myself instead of full-on ashamed.

But that’s why I didn’t attend the damned stupid RO meeting. Is this a perfect excuse? Should I be invited back, I should probably attend.

It’s quite obvious that I’m not whole. I probably never will be and won’t know if RO is the right path unless I try it. It’s been proven time and time again that I’m not the best at judging what I need and don’t need. The House placed that worm in my head and I haven’t been able to extinguish it, no matter how I try.

…. Class is going okay although I feel like I’m playing with fire. I’m just not rolling over and allowing students to redo assignments when they fail. I have yet to do that although several students have asked.

Rather, I asked one why she willfully turned in an assignment that would score poorly. Her response was “I read too quickly.” So, I asked if she needed extra time. I’d be happy to provide another day to avoid reading quickly… but I think she interpreted that as I won’t allow a redo.

Which is incorrect. I would but I wanted her to state exactly why she knew she would fail in the first place. No real answer, of course. But I’m the bad guy here.

It’s my fault that she’s a willing failure.

— Bit-chy class.

Moving on… This is Memorial Day. Well, tomorrow is.
Who knows what Jason and I will be doing. Lot of that depends on what time he wakes up and the weather. I’m hoping I’ll get some sleep as I’ve slept exceedingly little over the past couple of days. Very little for some reason.

The class shouldn’t be that busy as it’s just a Monday. I should probably send off “wtf y r u failing’ emails soon.

Tuesday and Wednesday is chiro.
Thursday is Visionworks with the little sister. I hope we have some fun or at least an agreeable day.
Friday is back with Jason and his chiro, blood draw, and something else… I forget.

Time keeps on moving and I plan on taking full advantage of my insurance.