Today, I just feel like I want to scream.
I want to cry.
I want to sleep although I know rest will not come.

And the thing is that I have no idea why.

For once, I slept (fairly) well and late. Well, late for me. It was actually around late in the 9 o’clock hour or just after 10. It’s Saturday, not raining, and I’m not hungry.

We stayed up late and I watched as Jason played Infinite Wealth – a rather charming and engaging game. He’s making his way through Chapter Five.

The class is going fairly well. This isn’t a big grading weekend. It’s important to stay current on it but reviewing each assignment isn’t that involved.

Jason has Monday off and said he’d help with the mowing. I would have liked to do it today but take solace knowing that, the longer we wait, the longer the more time passes before it has to be done again.

I’ve actually been in contact with an old friend – Becca. She’s happy, I think, and newly married, which is great. She deserves to be happy.

So… why do I want to scream?
Why do I want to cry?

This isn’t a bad day. We even put together a bookshelf to replace the warped wooden one. The books and things still need to be moved to the bookshelf – which will be a challenge as it’s ready to fall apart as is. I guess that’s a challenge for another day.

I took some solace from writing bad reviews of Culver’s. We went there for lunch and I was overcharged. The assistant manager essentially said “So?” despite the cashier stating he was in error and the price wasn’t as promised. I think that cost me three or four dollars more than it was supposed to. I wrote a couple of bad reviews and filled out the customer survey form from the receipt.

I know that’s all fluff but it helps me feel a little better for some reason.

I can understand a new hire making a mistake but “so?” from the short, plump, assistant manager isn’t acceptable.

It’s from the second I gained consciousness this morning I hit the fight/flight mode. A day… a precious day… all but destroyed by the irrational panic of… of something.

It’s so shameful.

Hopefully tonight… tomorrow… will be different. I’ll be more me.