I’m kind of surprised that I’m doing as well as I am.

The fluctuation in temperature from warm to cold has left me extremely stiff. My back is starting to bleed from the wound again. My joints ache.

Of course, there’s the ongoing struggle to sleep and the change of thyroid medicine has left me feeling exceedingly cold or sweaty, if not a little panicky.

Jason’s absence was a bit of a stressor (but he’s back now) and a new term just started on Wednesday. Since I had such a * spectacular * failure last term, I’m very apprehensive about this one. I already have a couple of bi*tchy students pushing on me. Fortunately, none have tried to call or text — yet.

I was apparently fighting off a mild case of pneumonia and it’s still uncertain if I have lung cancer. But that’s something for the future.

I could have low testosterone and some other issues.. The celebratory margarita from Red Lobster nearly wrecked me. I’m not used to the concentrated intake of carbs that drink provided and felt ill for two days.

But, overall, I think I’m okay. For the most part. I have dark days and cloudy times, but I feel that I am sleeping a bit better. I am making a concentrated effort to eat more, especially protein and calcium. I feel that I’ve increased my calorie intake but on my terms — not the processed food that the death dietitian recommended.

I dumped her, by the way. Refused to see her again. I don’t need the stress.

But…. I’m really trying.

I saw a bumper sticker today at Kroger.

It said something like:

Addiction is surrendering everything for one thing.

Recovery is surrendering one thing for everything.

— I’m trying to do that.
I’m trying to get over anorexia for my everything.

I’m just so blessed and lucky that my everything are strong – family, Jason, and even a couple of friends.